Youngstown woman who lost child opens support organization

By JORDYN GRZELEWSKI

jgrzelewski@vindy.com

YOUNGSTOWN

Robinette Clark has been through more than her fair share of adversity.

She has recovered from a substance-use disorder. She has lost friends and other loved ones. Most challenging of all, her child died.

Clark’s youngest son, Keane Gregory, was killed in a car accident in 2007. He was 29.

Rather than giving in to her grief, Clark is harnessing her experiences to help others. Recently, with help from the Youngstown Business Incubator’s Women in Entrepreneurship program, Clark launched Altered Lives Recovery Services.

Altered Lives currently offers a grief-support group. Going

forward, Clark plans to

expand with numerous other services.

“I thought it was going to take me out,” Clark said of losing her son. “But I’m still here, and for a reason – so I can help others who are dealing with loss.”

Clark, of Youngstown, is a lifelong area resident, a mother of three and a grandmother of five.

At 65, she is used to hearing she should be slowing down, but she has no plans to do so. In fact, life is only speeding up.

As Clark launches Altered Lives, she is also working to obtain a grief-counseling certificate and studying social work at Youngstown State University.

None of it feels like work, though. Clark is driven by what she sees as her purpose in life.

“This has been on my heart for a long time,” Clark said. “There are so many people losing their lives, and there are so many parents and siblings who are losing their loved ones. When I thought of this, it was because I had lost my son, and I know the devastation it brings when you lose a child.”

Clark shared this while sitting at her desk in the co-working space at the WE Center, located in YBI’s main building at 241 W. Federal St.

The WE program, started in 2016, creates economic opportunities for women through entrepreneurial education and training, mentoring and networking.

Even before she lost her son, Clark had been through some difficult times. She recently marked 20 years in recovery from a substance-use disorder.

“I was addicted for eight years. That’s where the passion comes from to help people with addiction,” Clark said. “I know the using side. I know the side of someone being addicted.”

Clark, who is a licensed minister, credits her faith with helping her recover.

“I finally said, ‘It’s time for me to get some help.’ I had been to treatment on several occasions. But this time, God was just there,” she said. “When I realized he was there, his presence was with me, I said, ‘This is enough.’”

She corrected herself with a laugh: “He said, ‘This is enough,’ and I agreed.”

In April 2007, Clark’s world was turned upside down when Gregory died.

She remembers feeling compelled to pray for Gregory before going to church one Sunday. The next day, he died in an accident on state Route 11 in Canfield.

Clark was in Pittsburgh for a conference when she got the call and heard the words no parent wants to hear: “I’m sorry for your loss.”

In the days and weeks that followed, Clark felt pain so deep she could barely breathe at times. But she found ways to cope.

She went to church. She prayed. Her church family prayed for her. And she made herself get up and keep going, even when she could barely stand it.

Now, she hopes to help others do the same. She believes that talking about grief and other difficult topics is crucial to coping, and her support group provides a safe venue to do that.

“Instead of holding onto the grief part, the pain, it’s good to talk about it,” she said.

The grief group meets at 6 p.m., the fourth Thursday of each month. It is open to all, regardless of whether you are religious or not.

The meetings typically open with some type of prayer, then some ground rules, such as turning off phones and keeping everything in the group confidential.

In the near future, Clark plans to move Altered Lives to a permanent location, add an in-house counseling component (the group currently has access to a grief counselor), register as a nonprofit organization and add programs to deal with other issues, such as addiction and divorce.

To those who are struggling with grief, Clark shared some advice that may help ease the pain: Talk about your pain; forgive; don’t blame yourself; and seek help.

Altered Lives is here to help with all of that.

“I’m just here to do my part to serve people and help them get past the toughest time of their lives,” Clark said.