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Use hope to quash suicidal thoughts, teens told
By Sean Barron
WARREN
Nearly anyone who knows the Rev. Rafael Cruz likely will tell you that he’s happy, easygoing and gregarious, and not shy about displaying a large sense of humor.
At the same time, however, they would probably find it hard to believe that he also suffered emotional and physical abuse as a child, which sometimes resulted in blind rages and indifference about his own life.
“One day when I was 5 or 6, my mother made me wash dishes, and when one wasn’t clean enough, she threw them back in the water and made me do the dishes all over,” recalled the Rev. Cruz, pastor of Unity Baptist Church in Boardman. “I remember thinking at that age that death would be better than life.”
Other times, his mother meted out punishment to him for certain misdeeds of his siblings, Mr. Cruz told an audience of a few dozen who came to a program titled Suicidal Teenage Struggles on Sunday at Restoration Christian Fellowship Church, 760 Main Ave. SW.
Hosting the two-hour, faith-based community forum was Teen Straight Talk in Vienna. Serving as moderator was the Rev. Dan Barker, pastor of Cortland Trinity Baptist Church.
Many teens who contemplate suicide are in broken homes, suffer the loss of a parent and deal with addictions or abandonment while struggling without hope, which comes from the love of Jesus Christ, explained Mary Duke, Teen Straight Talk’s executive director. That lack of hope lies at the core of many young people’s issues, Duke noted, adding that the teen suicide rate has been increasing.
“I want them to know there’s hope in the midst of the storm so they can get through the storm,” she said.
Mr. Cruz also remembered that the continual abuse he suffered was largely responsible for causing a few episodes of blind rage, one of which occurred when he was nearly 7 and choked a child who was bullying his sister. Another was in high school, when he came close to seriously injuring or killing a fellow student, he continued.
As an adult, the pastor realized his mother also suffered abuse, though he never disrespected or hated her. With God’s help and healing power, he eventually was able to express his love toward his parents and find greater inner peace, Mr. Cruz said, adding that many young people who experience major difficulties too often assume they’re suffering alone.
“Your current situation is not the end of your story,” he added.
Daily work-related problems as a teacher about 14 years ago led to anger, depression and disillusionment, as well as taking his feeling out on his family, explained the Rev. Matt Lowe, pastor of Journey Christian Church in Warren.
“One day while driving to work, I thought that I would veer into a semi-truck while driving. I cried when I stopped at a traffic light,” but lacked the courage to follow through, the Rev. Mr. Lowe remembered.
Nevertheless, he saw a rainbow, in the absence of a storm, which made him realize “God is in control,” Mr. Lowe said about his epiphany. That experience helped change his perspective and make him realize hope could lie at the end of any problems he faced, he continued.
“God said, ‘I’m with you,’” Mr. Lowe added.
The program’s messages resonated with 16-year-old Simahjay Warfield, a Warren G. Harding High School 11th-grader.
Many of his peers feel rejected, and among the best ways to help are being a good listener, seeking God’s guidance and putting others’ needs before yourself, he advised.
“I’m always here for you,” said Simahjay, who’s also part of Teen Straight Talk’s junior board. “I’m there to respond to you, give you love and get you help.”
Additional remarks were from the Rev. Joseph Walker, Restoration Church’s pastor, who asked attendees to pray for those affected by Hurricane Irma, which has caused millions of people to evacuate Florida.
The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention is hosting an Out of the Darkness Youngstown Walk that begins at 11 a.m. Sept. 30 in Mill Creek MetroParks’ James L. Wick Jr. Recreation Area. For more information, contact Cynthia Orslene at 234-244-4159 or corslene@yahoo.com.