Renowned speaker on date rape shares story at YSU

By AMANDA TONOLI

atonoli@vindy.com

YOUNGSTOWN

A once quiet “meep” encouraged students at Youngstown State University to speak up and speak out against date rape.

Internationally known speaker Katie Koestner shared a harrowing story this week of a freshman dating experience gone wrong. Koestner, who at the age of 18, was the first woman to speak out as a survivor of date rape.

“I was terrible at being assertive when I was 18,” Koestner admitted. “I was a mealy-mouthed little meep, according to my junior AP English teacher. I don’t know what a meep is, but I’m pretty sure it means I don’t stand up for myself. ... I know it’s extremely hard to speak, especially if you’re like me and didn’t have a lot of support. But it can and does make an impact.”

Koestner went from being a shy young adult to an outspoken 18-year-old after she was date-raped in 1990 during her freshman year of college.

“I didn’t know how to speak – how to say what I wanted and didn’t want,” Koestner said. “I want [everyone] to be better at that.”

Koestner was met with roadblocks every step of the way in reporting being raped by someone she knew and let into her dorm room.

“When I was 18, rape was about strangers who grabbed a girl in a dark alley and threw her down and she was lucky if she lived. There was nothing said about it being someone you knew,” Koestner said in relation to her own experience with a boyfriend at the time.

Because it was someone she knew, she faced a plethora of criticisms, doubts and a considerable amount of blame for “letting” the rape happen.

“We can all say would’ve, could’ve, should’ve,” she said, then added: “Never say it’s your fault because you didn’t lock your door. We should still blame the criminal.”

Rayann Atway, YSU Student Government Association president, said the education Koestner provided to students was invaluable.

“It’s important because sexual assault is prevalent on college campuses,” she said.

YSU senior Robert Voland said Koestner’s tale was relatable and struck home.

“I’ve been to the bar and I’ve seen things like she described,” Voland said. “[Koestner’s presentation] was super relevant and it may help to encourage people to do something and say something, instead of just being a bystander.”

Koestner’s story has been featured on the cover of TIME Magazine, and has appeared on the “Oprah Winfrey Show,” “NBC Nightly News,” “CNBC Talk Live,” CNN, “Larry King Live,””Good Morning America,” “Later Today,” MSNBC, “Entertainment Tonight” and other national television networks and shows. She is the subject of an HBO movie and has lectured at over 3,000 schools in North America. Her audiences have included the incoming classes at Massachusetts Institute of Technology, Brown University, West Point, the U.S. Naval Academy, Amherst College, Williams College, the top 200 officers of the Department of Defense and the American Association of School Administrators.