Ed Puskas: Parade will give voice to irate fans

There is always a risk when we put our opinions out there.

No matter the subject, someone somewhere won’t agree with your way of thinking.

Back in my day — when we walked uphill to and from school in blizzards and the Cleveland Browns sometimes won games — we celebrated our differences.

Cats and dogs. Browns and Steelers. Ohio State and Michigan. Democrats and Republicans. Indians and Yankees. Everyone had a place at the table.

Now we have to win every argument at all costs. It doesn’t matter if it is the most important political or social topic at hand or if we’re debating who makes the best pizza in town.

I’m right and you’re wrong. Can’t you understand that from my witty, 140-character retort?

Since I’m clearly as non-confrontational as anyone, I hope people will accept what I’m about to type — even if they disagree — and keep the reactionary vitriol to a minimum.

Here goes:

I’m quite OK with the Browns Perfect Season Parade 2.0, which can be clinched with a season-ending loss today.

I know, I know. Some of you are groaning or even taking my name in vain. Maybe a Cleveland radio host — who shall remain nameless — will threaten to run me over with his car on the parade route.

There is no middle ground when it comes the idea hatched by Chris McNeil, a Cleveland sports fan and Twitter phenomenon perhaps better known by the handle @Reflog_18.

(Yes, it’s “golfer” spelled backward.)

If you’re a Browns fan, you’re either all in for the idea of showing up at noon on Saturday at FirstEnergy Stadium to “celebrate” just the second 0-16 season in NFL history, or the thought of such an abomination has your blood pressure spiking.

Here’s why it should be the former:

Irony, sarcasm, opportunity and a sense of humor.

No one really wants to celebrate the fact that — unless they beat the Steelers — the Browns will go winless in 2017.

Most supporters would prefer the Browns ruin things again today, as they did last year by beating the San Diego Chargers on Christmas Eve.

Why? Because they were Browns fans long before they embraced the parade as a way to deliver a message to owner Jimmy Haslam. In short, it is this:

Your organization is incompetent.

That’s what this is about. It’s not about mocking the players or embarrassing Cleveland. Is the parade really worse than the Browns going 1-31 the last two years?

Critics have questioned McNeil’s motives and opined that no “real Browns fan” would support the idea or — worse yet — show up on Saturday.

They’re wrong.

“It all started as a tweet where I said, ‘This Browns team deserves a parade,” McNeil said. “We had just had a parade for the Cavs so the juxtaposition was painfully obvious as the Browns lost week after week. It was built upon from here.

“[It was] always as a swipe at the organization and it has become more focused on ownership as time has gone on. Having said that, the whole thing is big enough now that many people are involved for a variety of reasons.”

And if the Browns somehow pull off the unthinkable today and rain on his parade, McNeil will be thrilled.

“I’d be the happiest Browns fan around if the Browns won [today],” he said. “I want the team to win first. I’m a Browns fan. Then we also get to donate all parade money raised to the Greater Cleveland Food Bank during a lean time of the year historically for them.

“If they lose all 16, though, make no mistake — we will be parading around the stadium Jan. 6.”

The parade figures to be the ultimate Bronx cheer as Cleveland fans embrace the black humor of the Browns’ futility and hold accountable those responsible for it.

And the notion that “real Browns fans” should want no part the event? Rubbish.

If you cried after Red Right 88 (it was dusty) and still use it as an Internet password, you’re a real Browns fan.

If you know that “Big Daddy” refers to Carl Hairston and not another insipid Adam Sandler movie, you’re real.

If you know all the words to “The Twelve Days of a Cleveland Browns Christmas,” you’re real.

If you still recoil at the sight or mention of John Elway, you’re real.

If you still randomly belt out “Bernie, Bernie, oh, yeah, how you can throw,” you’re real.

If you get choked up when Earnest Byner apologizes for The Fumble in the “Believeland” movie, you’re real.

Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise. See you on Saturday.

Write Sports Editor Ed Puskas at epuskas@vindy.com and follow him on Twitter, @EdPuskas_Vindy.