Transgender soldier felt ‘fired’ by Trump’s tweet

Associated Press

BERATZHAUSEN, Germany

The subject line read: “Announcing a personal change.”

The U.S. Army soldier took a deep breath before hitting the button that sent the email to more than 200 fellow troops.

“All considered, I am, and have been, traversing what is essentially a personal matter, but is something I must address publicly,” the email stated. “I am transgender.”

The April 13 email officially ended the secret that burned inside Capt. Jennifer Sims, who was known as Jonathan Sims. But the feeling of relief swiftly turned to unease after President Donald Trump tweeted transgender troops were no longer welcome.

“I read the tweet while I was at work and you know it was devastating because I still have work to do and here I am reading basically what sounds like the president of the United States – who is the commander in chief, he is the ultimate boss of the military – telling me and anybody else that is transgender that we are fired,” Sims said.

Pentagon officials say the policy allowing transgender troops will remain unchanged without official White House guidance. But for Sims, the uncertainty has been upsetting.

“So in the initial moments after the tweet, I saw myself forced into the state that I was in before I started transitioning – a state of depression, exhaustion and inability to enjoy things,” said Sims, 28, who spoke to The Associated Press on her own behalf, not on that of the Army.

The reversal of the Obama administration policy that allows transgender people to serve openly and receive military medical coverage for transitioning also could affect her physically.

Sims has been on hormone therapy by her military doctor since November. If she interrupts the treatment, her body will revert to being male.

“It would be very difficult to have to go through that,” said Sims, based at Hohenfels, a U.S. Army garrison in the German state of Bavaria.

Growing up in Minnesota and Florida, Sims, a high school football player, never felt comfortable being male. The son and grandson of military veterans quietly came to terms with identifying as a woman a year after joining the Army R.O.T.C., but outwardly kept it a secret “because I wanted to continue serving,” Sims said.

Sims stopped socializing, feeling drained over worries about being masculine enough, and focused on work, serving in Afghanistan, Indonesia and Germany.

After the Defense Department announced in 2015 that it was considering allowing transgender troops to serve openly, Sims told her sister and parents. When the policy became official in June 2016, Sims said “it was the best day of my life really.”

Sims made an appointment with the behavioral health office, was given a diagnosis of gender dysphoria and started hormone therapy. Five months later, she decided to shed her secret, first telling her closest colleagues, Capt. Brandon Shorter and another infantry officer.

They were at a loss for words, but after Shorter got home, he texted Sims about how that was brave.

Sims’ email was not emotional. The seasoned military officer wrote how a lifetime of discomfort had peaked three years ago. Sims then outlined the steps she would take to fully transition to a woman.

Five soldiers sent emails back with words of encouragement. Most didn’t respond. For a few days, there were murmurs. Some said they would not use the feminine pronoun until Sims’ Army paperwork made it official.

Sims is the first transgender person Shorter has known. The unit is basically full of “young men wanting to chew on nails and prove how tough they are,” he said. Only eight women are among the 500 soldiers in the battalion.

Shorter had a lot of questions “being naturally curious and wanting to be a good friend. A conservative, he said he struggles with his beliefs about what’s appropriate, but he would be “incredibly disappointed” if Sims, the best signal officer he has seen, were kicked out.

After Trump’s tweet, a few soldiers, including Shorter, asked Sims how she was doing. She didn’t know what to say. Her pills will run out in three months. Doctors recommend 12 months of hormone therapy before surgery, the cost of which can run close to $50,000, which Sims was expecting the military would help cover.

“I had waited so long just to be able to tell the world this is who I am,” Sims said.