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Church members’ bear-making project helps people in times of grief and loss
By LINDA M. LINONIS
BOARDMAn
When Diane WildING made a bear for a friend whose husband had died, the response was a heartfelt endorsement.
“My friend told me the bear gave great hugs,” Wilding recalled.
Around that time, the Rev. Bob Quaintance, her pastor at Good Hope Lutheran Church, was visiting, and conversation touched on the possibility of a Grief Share program. Citing her friend’s positive reaction to a bear, Wilding suggested making bears for participants.
“He thought it was a wonderful idea,” she said.
Plans were made for a Grief Share program for those who have lost loved ones. A “want ad” was published in The Good News of Good Hope, the church newsletter, seeking volunteers to make Grief Bears.
Wilding, a church member for two years, and Dolores Combs, a 10-year member, are Grief Share facilitators with Karen Biggs, Good Hope lay ministry assistant. Biggs described the bear-making project as a “complement” to Grief Share, being offered for the first time.
Deaths of church members were factors that helped moved the idea to fruition. “Over several months, a few members died,” Biggs said. “We realized we weren’t equipped. We try to support our members in their journeys through life.”
She noted that the 13-week Grief Share program began July 20. “It’s for anyone dealing with grief because of a loss,” Biggs said.
Biggs said each session has three parts – a video, confidential discussion among participants and workbook. The videos feature professionals such as psychologists, pastors and grief counselors.
Attending all sessions is optional, Biggs said. There is a faith element, Biggs said, noting that related Bible passages are incorporated.
The sessions address elements of grief, including what’s normal and what’s not, length of grieving, feeling isolated and coming together to discuss feelings. What’s normal, she continued, might be inability to make decisions, loss of appetite, feeling guilty and overwhelmed. What is not normal, she said, is feeling that you don’t want to go on and planning your own death.
“Sharing feelings” is cathartic, Biggs said. Men and women who have lost spouses must navigate “a new normal” and “take on new responsibilities.” “There is no expiration date on grief,” she said.
Volunteers on the bear-making crew are Elaine Beck, Donna Flick, Jeanette Larson, Verda Scott, Teresa Reilly, all church members, and Barbara Woods, a friend of Larson’s.
The group will make bears, pillows and possibly other items from patterns for those who participate in Grief Share and church members by request. To make the bears more personal, it is suggested that something that the deceased loved one wore be used as the material. This could be a favorite shirt, dress, pajamas or other articles of clothing.
Larson, a 17-year church member, is working on a bear to be dressed in material from a pink smock worn by a hospital volunteer. She will incorporate the patch from the smock onto the bear. The collar has tiny holes where the volunteer displayed her service pins; Larson said she will fashion the bear’s outfit so that the collar is retained and the pins can be re-attached. “Whatever they want, we will try to do,” she said.
Larson said the bear-makers also can attach earrings, necklaces, bracelets and other jewelry on request.
“I understand the grief process. ... People like the idea of having something to hold on to.”
A certain level of sewing skill is necessary to make bears. Pillows, which also work in this project, are simpler. Volunteers without sewing skills can stuff bears and pillows and cut fabric.
Beck, a two-year member, said she “loves to sew” so this project was a perfect fit. She also sees it as a way to fellowship with other volunteers.
“This group is a way to share our talents and gifts,” Wilding said.