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Never give up on a child, abuse survivor tells Trumbull professionals
By Sarah Lehr
WARREN
Files detailing decades-old psychiatric evaluations of a young Derek Clark, a former foster-care ward, describe the child as violent, unstable, “mentally retarded” and “un-adoptable” due to severe behavioral issues.
Clark, now a motivational speaker and author, said he’s glad those bleak diagnoses did not dictate the ultimate course of his life.
While speaking to an audience of law-enforcement and child-welfare professionals this week in Warren, he cautioned those who work with troubled youths against letting labels become prescriptive.
“Every kid is adoptable,” Clark said. “Every kid deserves a family. Every kid deserves love.”
The Trumbull County Juvenile Detention Alternatives Initiative sponsored Clark’s presentation, titled “Spirit of a Child: From Rejection to Connection.”
Clark entered the California foster-care system at 5 years old and was shuttled from home to home before being permanently adopted. His adoptive parents provided love and stability that made possible his success as an adult, Clark said.
In his early years, he suffered severe physical and emotional abuse at the hands of his biological mother, his stepfather and his biological father.
During his presentation, Clark described that abuse in often-graphic terms, recalling one instance when his mother scalded his hand so severely with hot water that a chunk of flesh came off.
“I look in the bathroom mirror and I see the angriest face ever,” Clark remembered. “I thought love was abuse.”
The abuse and neglect of his early years profoundly affected Clark’s development.
Because his parents had locked him in the closet so often when he was a toddler, Clark wasn’t able to hone his motor skills. It was years before he learned to run, Clark said.
At 6, he registered the IQ of a 2-year-old. He also had an underdeveloped vocabulary for his age group. The few words he did know were mostly cusses, Clark said.
Because he lacked a productive means of expressing himself as a child, Clark said, he was prone to violent outbursts. He was perpetually summoned to the principal’s office and was even expelled from kindergarten.
“I had a lot of misplaced anger at social workers and police and authority in general,” Clark said. “Sometimes, their behavior is the only way a child has of communicating. You never know what’s going on in someone’s home.”
No matter how severe a child’s problems are, however, Clark asserted that there is no such thing as a hopeless case.
“Never give up on a child,” Clark said.