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‘The monster was so big’
By Bob Jackson
YOUNGSTOWN
For five years, Lorie LoGiudice waited in painful anticipation for a phone call.
She prayed with all her might that the call would never come, but she knew in the pit of her stomach that it most likely would.
When it came last week, she still wasn’t ready.
“I kept screaming into the phone, ‘I can save him! I can save him!’” LoGiudice said, as she softly ran her fingers across the green-stoned Boardman High School class ring that she recently began wearing.
The call was from her ex-husband, Donald LoGiudice, and the news was that their son, Donny, was dead from an overdose of laced heroin some six weeks from his 29th birthday. The ring was Donny’s.
The pain was fresh in Donald and Lorie’s eyes as they accepted condolences from friends and acquaintances Sunday during activities at Martini Brothers in downtown Youngstown, where a fundraising celebration of Donny’s life took place.
“The monster was so big,” Donald said of Donny’s addiction to heroin. “He tried several times, but he just couldn’t get it off his back.”
Friends remembered Donny as a fun-loving man who brought joy to people’s lives, in spite of the drug- addiction demon that tortured his own.
Nikki Cervone, 31, of Youngstown said she’d known Donny since they attended BHS together, and they’d been close friends ever since. They even spent about two months together in Florida about 10 years ago, before returning to the area.
“Donny always made everybody laugh,” Cervone said. “That was his favorite thing, to make people laugh and make their day.”
A recovering addict herself, Cervone said she talked to Donny often about his addiction, and made it known that her door was always open to him if he needed help or a place to stay. When she got the news that Donny was dead, it was painful but not totally unexpected.
“You kind of expect it in the back of your mind, but you never think it will actually happen to him,” she said of the man she affectionately refers to as her brother. “Not with someone so young and so talented.”
Donald, 82, said he was in awe of Donny’s ability to learn.
“His mind was like a sponge,” he said. “He was very artistic and creative. Music, art, cooking, fashion, history ... anything that was interesting to him, he did it and he learned it. It amazed me how much he learned in his short time. I’m 82 years old and I don’t know half of what he did.”
Donald and Lorie, 61, who divorced some 13 years ago, said they became aware of Donny’s heroin addiction about five years ago. Lorie, who is a nurse, said she was in denial when one of Donny’s friends first told her about it.
“There were no track marks on his arms,” she said. “But I didn’t know what to really look for.”
Eventually, she realized that the problem was real — so real, in fact, that she had to revive him four separate times after finding him blue from overdosing.
When the end came, Donny was living with his father, who found him and had to make the dreaded call to Lorie.
“It was horrible,” Donald said.
He said Donny had just completed a stint at a local drug-rehabilitation facility, and they thought he was clean.
“I couldn’t believe he did it,” Donald said, shaking his head.
Donald and Laurie said they realize that people who didn’t know Donny could dismiss his death as that of an adult whose end came about because of a conscious choice to use drugs, but they want people to know there was much more to their son.
“He was a unique person. One of a kind,” Donald said. “He helped so many people. We want people to realize that this was a wonderful kid who died.”
Donald said he never realized how many lives Donny had touched until he read Donny’s Facebook page recently. He was amazed at the number of people who’d thanked Donny for the positive influence he’d had on them.
Lorie said Donny learned to cook by working as a waiter in downtown restaurants and standing in the kitchens and watching the cooks prepare food.
“He was such a fantastic cook, and he had a big soul,” Lorie said.
She was wearing Donny’s BHS class ring on her finger. She’d found it in one of his dresser drawers while going through his belongings after he died last week. “It’s all I’ve got to hang onto and touch, so I will wear [the ring] for the rest of my life.”
Among those who remembered Donny on Sunday was 24-year-old Shiloh Hawkins of Columbiana, who said she’d met Donny only twice. The first time was six years ago, but their most recent and most memorable meeting was at a downtown bar, where they spent only about 10 minutes talking.
“When I got up to leave, he reached out and gave me a big bear hug,” said Hawkins, who was among the musical performers who donated their time for Sunday’s benefit. “That stuck with me, so when I was asked to be a part of this, I agreed right away.”
Dan Martini, co-owner of Martini’s, said Donny worked for him for about a year, but left a lasting impression.
“He made everything fun,” Martini said. “Whether you were working or not, he was always fun to be around.”
Donald and Laurie said they want people to realize that drug addiction can strike and affect anyone, and they encouraged people to confront it head-on, whether they be the actual addict, or the addict’s family.
“Get the best help you can,” Lorie said. “Reach out to your friends. Don’t hide it and don’t try to go it alone. It doesn’t help to hide it.”
“If you have a loved one who dies of a drug overdose, put it in the [obituary],” Donald said. “Don’t be ashamed, because it will help someone.”
They said people have approached them and told them that Donny’s death moved them to get off drugs themselves.