43
Rabbi discusses national interfaith initiative on civility
By LINDA M. LINONIS
youngstown
Kindess. Courtesy. Consideration. Thoughtfulness.
We know the words. But has American society lost touch with practicing the qualities?
Rabbi Steve Gutow outlined key points in the national interfaith initiative on civility.
The president and chief executive officer of the Jewish Council for Public Affairs (www.jewishpublicaffairs.org) was a guest of the Youngstown Area Jewish Federation on Monday. He spoke to and with about 20 representatives of the Christian, Jewish and Islamic traditions during an afternoon gathering at the Jewish Community Center, 505 Gypsy Lane. JCPA is the umbrella organization for 125 Jewish community-relations councils and 16 national Jewish agencies.
Gutow said the macrocosm view “is the willingness to see everyone as they are made in God’s image.”
The microcosm level is more involved. “This is about getting to know someone,” he said, or as he put it, “taking them to lunch.” Don’t talk about work but how you think and feel.
“How to talk to people,” he said, is as important as what you say. “God should be there.”
Rabbi Gutow continued that listening to another person’s viewpoint probably won’t change your mind, but really listening — not just waiting for them to finish so you can talk — is vital.
And if you criticize the words of another, Rabbi Gutow said, “do it from a place of love.”
JCPA began its Civility Institute as a response to what was happening in American society. Its statement acknowledges that robust debate is a hallmark of the American system and way of life but “the expression and exchange of views is often an uncivil, highly unpleasant experience.” The statement continues that “community events and public discussion are often interrupted by raised voices, personal insults and outrageous charges.”
Rabbi Gutow said civil discourse must be restored by treating others with decency and respect.
“Balance has been lost for children and adults,” he said, noting there’s pressure about attending the “best” schools and “being involved in activities” ... often too many. For adults, it’s the amassing of things ... a job, a house, car, etc. “When do we have enough to stop?” he asked. The focus, he said, is on activities and things when it should be on the value of relationships.
The rabbi said “opening up to relationships” and “looking at one’s heart” moves people into a relationship with God and one another.
“We need to teach children about a culture of caring,” he said. “Teaching is key along with living it.”
Rabbi Gutow continued that “it’s all about balance.” That translates into “talking to people respectfully though you differ passionately.”
Though technology enhances our lives, he said, communicating through cyberspace takes away “looking at someone in the eyes.”
He said he believes “God put us here to work together.” A common ground that joins people of faith traditions, he said, is helping the poor and fighting poverty. Working together to help the poor, he said, “opens up opportunities” for other interfaith exchanges.
Working together, Rabbi Gutow said, also forges connections in the community. He suggested that interfaith groups sponsor a day of service or other another community project “to work together and develop relationships.”