Williams: It’s time to watch hockey

During Day Five of the 2014 Winter Olympics, my son-in-law suggested that his wife probably could take a two-week vacation in February and do little more than watch the coverage on the networks of NBC.

I confess that she comes by it honestly, having been raised by a pair of Winter Games viewing addicts.

Her mother can watch just about anything NBC shows, from ice dancers to lugers to free style skiing (with those beautiful mountain vistas filling the background of the slow-motion replays).

Bob Costas? Matt Lauer? The giddy crew from the “Today” show laughing about the cold weather back in the USA? Doesn’t matter who’s introducing their replay coverage, her mother is there.

Her dad can’t stay away from ice hockey. USA? Canada? Latvia? Men? Women? Doesn’t matter who is skating with sticks and pucks. (Upon further review, he has not seen any women’s game that didn’t have Canada or USA playing. And the men’s Norway-Austria game has little appeal on a busy weekend.)

Watching the Olympics doesn’t have to be passive — broadcasters often inspire viewers to morph into the two grouchy Muppets who reside in the balcony.

For instance, the retired schoolteacher in our house on Friday afternoon heard hockey analyst Eddie Olczyk (who is very good) suggest the puck might “have went” into the net.

“C’mon people,” she immediately scolded the high-definition screen. “It’s might ‘have gone.’ ”

Earlier in the week, a convoluted analysis of ski jumping inspired her husband to suggest that NBC should use a translator who can convert gibberish into English.

Which brings us to this morning when our house will be celebrating Hockey for Breakfast while NBCSN shows the most important game of the preliminary round — USA vs. Russia.

On the one side, you’ll have Alexander Ovechkin and Evgeni Malkin (2009 Conn Smythe winner for the Pittsburgh Penguins) trying to shred the American defense that includes two Penguins (2010 silver medal winner Brooks Orpik and Paul Martin). Pens head coach Dan Bylsma is the USA head coach.

As first-round match-ups go, only Canada-Finland on Sunday has similar appeal, especially to viewers in the Great White North.

The men’s hockey tournament has 12 teams. They are grouped into three divisions and division rivals play each other once. All qualify for the medal round, but the division winners and the second-place team with the best record earn a bye from Tuesday’s elimination round.

This year’s five best teams are Canada, USA, Russia, Sweden and Finland. One will be playing an extra game on Tuesday while the others rest.

Programming alert: To see the Russian and American professionals battle, you need satellite or a digital package. (Why NBC is not pre-empting its Saturday edition of “Today” so everyone can see is beyond me. Maybe it’s because the game will be shown live.)

Agreed, this is no “Miracle on Ice” showdown. Now that professionals represent their countries in every sport, the Olympics have changed tremendously over the past 20 years.

Still, it’s USA vs. Russia at Vladimir Putin’s games in Sochi. (Cue the 007 music). For your morning coffee, would you like one lump or two?

Tom Williams is a sportswriter at The Vindicator. Write him at williams@vindy.com and follow him on twitter at @Williams_Vindy.