Who tops MVFC road rankings?

Last weekend, Youngstown State made its first trip to Vermillion, S.D., a town with the 10th-largest population in the state, which is a little like being the 10th-tallest midget in the circus.

As vacation destinations go, it ranks high in categories like “brownest” and “flattest” but slightly lower in categories like “best.” All you need to know about Vermillion is if you go its website, the first new story is headlined “Snow Removal Guidelines.”

Vermillion is home to the University of South Dakota, which until last week was the only Missouri Valley school Youngstown State had not visited.

Since most YSU fans can’t (or won’t) travel to road games — Indiana State is the closest school and it’s more than 400 miles away — here’s a primer on the opposing stadiums, judging on things like environment, facilities and fan support.

By the end of this story, you may feel like you’ve visited all these schools. If so, I’m sorry.

1. North Dakota State

Stadium: Fargodome. Capacity: 19,500.

Pros: Indoors (a plus in any part of North Dakota); biggest/loudest fan base in the conference; nice locker room; competitive team.

Cons: Indoors (football should be played outside on grass); noise can give you a headache; tough place to win.

Quotable: “I feel like their place adds a 12th man on the field,” junior LB Teven Williams said. “Their crowd is unbelievable. Those are the type of games you don’t have to worry about getting up for.”

2. Southern Illinois

Stadium: Saluki Stadium. Capacity: 15.276.

Pros: Newest and arguably the best stadium in the conference; good fan base/tailgate atmosphere; nice locker room.

Cons: Team stays more than an hour away because there aren’t enough hotel rooms in Carbondale.

Quotable: “The stadium is awesome and when you walk in front of their fans on the way to the stadium, you know you’re on the road,” senior QB Kurt Hess said. “Sometimes rowdy fans get you going.”

3. Northern Iowa

Stadium: UNI-Dome. Capacity: 17,000.

Pros: Indoors (a good thing in November); good fan support; nice facilities.

Cons: YSU hasn’t won there since 1999.

Quotable: “There’s nothing that I don’t like about it,” Hess said.

4. Illinois State

Stadium: Hancock Stadium. Capacity: 15,000.

Pros: Big locker room (it’s in a gym); decent stadium (although it was built in 1963); decent fan base; new Fieldturf.

Cons: Long way from locker room to stadium; bad memories, particularly from the last few games.

Quotable: “What I like about Illinois State was ... there’s not much I like about Illinois State,” Hess said.

5. Missouri State

Stadium: Plaster Sports Complex. Capacity: 16,300.

Pros: Looks like a slightly smaller version of Stambaugh Stadium; easy access to airport; Springfield, Mo., boasts the world-famous Andy’s Frozen Custard.

Cons: Lots of redneck accents, due to proximity to Arkansas; small locker room; mediocre turf.

Quotable: “It wasn’t too bad,” senior punter Nick Liste said.

6. South Dakota

Stadium: DakotaDome. Capacity: 10,000.

Pros: Indoors; decent fan support/noise.

Cons: Weird turf (more like a spongy, scratchy rug); small locker room; few showers.

Press box food: Cold cut sandwiches (with very sketchy turkey).

Quotable: “It looks like a big basketball arena,” Liste said.

7. Western Illinois

Stadium: Hanson Field. Capacity: 17,168.

Pros: New turf (the old grass surface was middle school-level); new videoboard.

Cons: Abysmal travel, since Macomb is in the middle of nowhere; 200-yard walk from locker room to field; lousy fan support.

Quotable: “It has a high school feel to it,” Hess said. “At the end of the day, you want a college atmosphere.”

8. Indiana State

Stadium: Memorial Stadium. Capacity: 12,764.

Pros: Um .... the locker room is close to the field?

Cons: High school-level facilities, with lights that date to the invention of electricity. Stands on one side only. Lousy field. Cramped locker room.

Quotable: “The worst place by far,” senior LT Kyle Bryant said. (Countered Liste: “I wouldn’t put it at the worst.”)

9. South Dakota State

Stadium: Coughlin-Alumni Stadium. Capacity: 15,000.

Pros: Great fans.

Cons: The place reeks of cow manure; open-air press box; high school-level stadium; crappy grass field; small locker room; tough to win there.

Quotable: “I’m just not a big fan of the whole state of South Dakota,” Liste said.

“The natural grass, that’s what I like,” Hess said. “There’s something about getting grass stains on your pants. It just feels like football.”

Joe Scalzo covers YSU for the The Vindicator. Write him at scalzo@vindy.com and follow him on Twitter, @joescalzo1.