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Speaker tells Mahoning Valley men to lead fight against domestic violence
BY Jordan Cohen
VIENNA
If men want to do something against domestic violence, they can start by paying closer attention to what they teach their children.
“We don’t perpetuate this violence, but we’re a part of the foundation that allows this to exist,” declared Tony Porter, founder of Call to Men, an organization dedicated to getting men involved in stopping domestic violence against women and children.
Porter spoke Saturday morning at Squaw Creek Country Club to a predominately male audience of more than 100, several of whom brought their young sons. Porter’s message was for them as well.
Porter said men unwittingly teach their sons that women have less value because they are perceived as weak, are looked upon as property and objectified for sex. He said that view passes through generations, enabling a culture of violence against women, violence which he estimates is committed by 15 percent of the male population.
“In this culture, [young men] do not have any interest in women unless sex is part of the equation,” Porter said. “They’re called ‘fresh meat’ and then we forget about them the next day, but they live with this for years.”
A number of men shook their heads in agreement.
“How do these cats wreak this devastation and stay cool with us?” Porter asked. “Because we mean well, but we still create this environment, and when we do, we have more in common with these bad guys.”
Porter said he was not advocating violence against men who batter women. “I think we start intervening by what we teach our boys,” he said. “We talk about sports to them, but we never talk about love.”
His statement drew applause from the women in the audience, and several men said they were moved by Porter’s speech.
“This is all about accountability and talking to children about their feelings,” said Devyn Bellamy, a Youngstown radio producer and announcer. “It will color my future interaction with my children.”
“This is something that should be talked about with younger men,” agreed the Rev. Ernest Walker, pastor of Ebenezer Life Center, Youngstown.
Malik Ross, 16, of Youngstown, said he’s taking Porter’s words to heart. “I’m learning how to treat women and this is helping me, because this is not a game — it’s real.”
Porter’s speech was sponsored by the Hill Foundation, an organization founded by Lenora Hill of Youngstown last April. Hill said she raised $10,000 to have the free breakfast for the second-consecutive year and she plans to continue her work against domestic violence with other activities in 2012.
“We want Call to Men to blanket the community because domestic violence will not stop until men say it will stop,” Hill said.