Parents face backlash over keeping baby’s sex a secret

Associated Press

TORONTO

A Canadian couple says it’s none of the world’s business to know their baby’s gender despite a firestorm of criticism over their controversial decision to keep the infant’s sex a secret.

Kathy Witterick said her 4-month-old baby, Storm, should be able to develop its own sexual identity without having to conform to social stereotypes or bow to predetermined expectations associated with gender.

Witterick, 38, and her husband, David Stocker, 39, have faced a backlash since the couple’s story first appeared in the Toronto Star last weekend. Witterick says their critics are being judgmental.

Witterick said in an email Friday that the idea that “the whole world must know what is between the baby’s legs is unhealthy, unsafe and voyeuristic. We know — and we’re keeping it clean, safe, healthy and private (not secret!).”

Witterick said Storm has a gender that those closest to him or her acknowledge and said they don’t know yet about the baby’s color or dress preferences.

Witterick and her husband also have been criticized for the way they are raising their other two children. Five-year-old Jazz and 2-year-old Kio are well aware that they’re boys but have been encouraged to shun gender norms and express themselves in whatever way they wish.

Witterick said Jazz has the right to choose his clothes and hairstyle and said he chooses freely to wear pink despite criticism.

“Jazz has a strong sense of being a boy, and he understands that his choices to wear pink and have long hair are not always acceptable to his community,” she wrote.

Witterick said the argument that children need a sex taught to them in order to feel safe in the world does not hold up in their experience.

She said an infant at 4 months still is learning to recognize himself or herself and it’s not appropriate to force a sex on them.

Witterick said the couple has been trying to keep their children safe from a media frenzy but said it has been difficult.

The couple have been criticized for imposing their ideological values on a newborn and subjecting their kids to ridicule.

“Storm will certainly need to understand his/her own sex and gender to navigate this world (the outcry has confirmed that clearly!), but there has never been any question that within our family, the issues of sex and gender and the decisions relating to it are always open for age-appropriate discussion,” Witterick wrote.