No achy breaky heart for Billy Ray Bauer

March 17, 2011 at 12:00a.m.

Comedian Billy Ray Bauer, who appears Friday and Saturday at The Funny Farm Comedy Club, takes no prisoners when he’s on stage.

For the past quarter of a century, the Michigan native has been calling it like he sees it for audiences from coast to coast. That includes visiting, sort of, Youngstown in the past.

“I have [visited] and sped as fast as I could through the whole place,” said Bauer, calling from Rochester, Mich. “I drove through on my way to a real wonderful place: Erie, Pa.”

After further clarification of exactly where Youngstown is located — between Cleveland and Pittsburgh — the division among loyalties regarding the respective sports teams is discussed.

“I gotcha, because for example, here in Detroit, the people who live across the river in Windsor are very divided,” Bauer said. “Some of them are Red Wing fans, and some are Toronto Maple Leaf fans, so it’s strange. It seems the Maple Leaf fans tend to have teeth missing from the bottom row, and the Wings fans from the top.”

In the past, Bauer has appeared on “The Bob and Tom Show,” had his jokes published in Reader’s Digest and even opened for the likes of Drew Carey, Tim Allen, The Smothers Brothers, Lewis Black and others. In fact, Bauer has been at the comedy game for so long he remembers when he cornered the market on the name Billy Ray. That is until an “Achy Breaky Heart” ruined the honeymoon.

“It’s like in ‘Office Space’ where the guy complains about being named Michael Bolton,” Bauer said. “It’s sort of the same with me, everything was fine until Billy Ray Cyrus and his daughter showed up. It’s been a cross to bear, but in my opinion, the point is one has to have something to look forward to. That’s my feeling on life in general. Once you have nothing to look forward to, it’s over. Sorry Zsa Zsa. Sorry Kirk Douglas. Sorry all those people sitting on the edge, but what are you going to do?”

The comic said his material is normally based around his marriage of 30 years, his four sons and his love of dogs. As for his upcoming live show, perhaps audience members would be best-served not sitting too close to each other.

“I’ve been told repeatedly that I cause people to lose body fluids out of various parts of their body during the show,” Bauer said. “I do this with a minimum of what you’d call profane material. That’s not to say I don’t have adult-based material. I think sometimes — just like nudity — less is more.”

He added, “It’s a show where we have a lot of fun. One thing people always tell me is how much fun I have when I’m onstage. And if you’re having fun, you’ve got half the battle right there.”