Empty nesters have full house

Associated Press

BOWLING GREEN

Like so many parents whose children have grown up and moved out, Joanne and Scott Nuzum have felt the sting of empty-nest syndrome in recent years.

There’s one difference, though. The Nuzums still technically have a “full house.”

“It’s been hard,” Joanne Nuzum said. “I have empty nest — with 15 kids.” Twenty-nine years ago, Joanne and Scott Nuzum began adopting children, seeking out sibling groups and those with physical, mental, or emotional disabilities. They now have 30 adopted children, one biological child and custody of another.

Fifteen live in their Bowling Green home. Some can take care of themselves, but others must be fed, diapered and bathed by their parents, who are full-time caregivers.

Nuzum said that in the last two years, nine of her children have moved out. Some left to get jobs; three went to Cedar Point Amusement Park in Sandusky. One moved to Toledo. Others went as far as Michigan, Idaho and Pennsylvania, making it difficult to visit their family.

“They’re at that age,” she said. “They need to learn things for themselves.”

But she said it was tough to let go.

“Some are doing really well, and some are getting in trouble, and it’s hard to see that,” Scott Nuzum said.

Since so many children have left home, the Nuzums have considered adopting more, but there’s one thing holding them back for now: grandchildren.

“We’re just kind of waiting right now; we want to focus on the children,” Joanne Nuzum said. “After this summer we’ll start thinking about it again.”

The Nuzums have five grandchildren, age 10 to a baby born recently.

John Oswald, a longtime family friend and co-owner of the Appliance Center in Maumee with his wife, Julie, said the Nuzum home is an amazing, almost magical place — a great place to grow up.

“The last time I was at the home, you almost get goose bumps. ... These kids don’t fight,” he said. “This family’s been one of the jewels of our town.”

The Nuzums believe keeping siblings together is important. That’s why they’ve adopted three sibling groups of five and two sibling groups of three.

“[The children] have told us since then, ‘Thank you so much for keeping us together,’” Joanne Nuzum said.

The couple married in 1974, had their first child in 1976, and adopted their first in 1982. Their oldest adopted child is Virginia, who is 29 years old, followed by Tony, who is 25. Their youngest is David John, better known as “D.J.,” who is 12.

“I can’t remember their ages,” Ms. Nuzum joked, as she still listed their ages, one by one. “I just ask the kids — how old are you?”

Ms. Nuzum home-schools many of the children, some of whom have backgrounds of neglect or abuse in addition to their disabilities. The couple said teaching the children work ethic is essential, especially in such a large household where everyone must play his or her part.

That “team player” mentality was manifest in the Nuzums’ latest project: their family garden.

Twenty friends came over June 18 to help build the garden, which took just under a week to complete and includes pepper, onion and tomato plants.

“We left the aisles wide enough so the wheelchairs could get through, and we made raised beds so those in the wheelchairs could help pick,” Joanne Nuzum said.

The Nuzums’ Bowling Green home, which was built seven years ago on 11 acres, has dormitory-style bedrooms and a large shower room. The entire main floor is handicapped accessible, she said, and the doorways are wide enough for wheelchairs to fit through. A large man-made lake sits out in the back, where the children go swimming during the summer.

The Nuzum car is a converted school bus used for taking trips to family favorites like the Bass Pro Shop or the Henry Ford Museum. Their party of 17 doesn’t stop them from going out to dinner at IHOP or the Hometown Buffet, either.

“We just call ahead,” she said.

The Oswalds are reciprocating some of the Nuzums’ generosity at an Appliance Center event this weekend. Oswald said a portion of the store’s sales from Friday, Saturday and Sunday will go to the Nuzums; the Appliance Center is guaranteeing a minimum of $5,000 in cash to the family.

“Basically, it’s kind of a dual event,” Oswald said. “We [also] are going to give away $25,000 worth of products to anyone that comes in to register. Appliances, furniture, flooring, rugs, you name it. It’s been a great last couple of years, and we’re about nine times larger, and because of that success; it’s purely a give-back.”

The Appliance Center also is hosting a food drive for the Nuzums, with a collection box at the store for people to donate nonperishable goods, Oswald said.

Heating and cooling systems, as well as appliances already have been donated to the Nuzums by the Appliance Center.

“If anyone needs help, this family needs help,” Oswald said. “They would never call [and ask].”

For the Oswalds and the Nuzums, giving back to the community goes both ways.

“Every time you turn around, they’re like ‘We want to do this,’?” Ms. Nuzum said of the Oswalds. “They always think about other people.”