More seniors go online for love and — sometimes — marriage

By Jessica Brown

Cincinnati Enquirer

He was smitten by her blond hair and her cooking. She fell for his dry humor and his height.

Newlyweds Lynn Eckert of Miami Township and Richard Stelter of West Chester have the classic love story: Girl meets boy, girl marries boy and they live happily ever after.

But their story contains a nontraditional twist. Stelter, 71, andEckert, 69, are widowers who met on an Internet dating site. Some of their first conversations were via emails and texts.

The couple married June 25. They are among a growing number of older adults, including those who have been widowed or divorced, who have turned to online dating sites.

The senior market (55 and older) is the fastest-growing group of subscribers to online dating sites over the past five years, according to Online Dating Magazine. The market has swelled and represents 16.7 percent of all traffic to online dating sites today.

Eckert said going to the Internet was a matter of practicality. She never seemed to meet any single men her age at work — she teaches kindergarten at Cincinnati Public Schools — at church or through friends. Then a friend suggested the free dating website Plenty of Fish.

“I met some very nice people [online],” Eckert said. “Yes, you have to be careful, but there are people out there who are genuine. They are lonely. They’re widowed or divorced or looking for someone to go out with.”

Joe Tracy, publisher of Online Dating Magazine, said older singles are drawn to online dating because it’s easy and they can cast a wider net.

“Some of the preferred ways for seniors in the past to meet people was church or volunteering,” he said. “Online dating has really opened up the market for them.”

At Match.com, the 50-plus age group, making up 20 percent of its users, is the fastest-growing demographic. At eHarmony.com, the oldest female user to find a spouse is 85. Experts say the trend is fueled by a combination of older adults becoming more technically savvy and the difficulty finding singles their own age.

Research by Iowa State University sociologist Alicia Cast shows that older adults who go online to meet people generally find success. Cast says people who meet online tend to have shorter courtships —18.5 months as opposed to 42 months for couples who met in a more traditional way.

It worked for Eckert and Stelter. Their relationship started with an email in June 2010. She’d come across Stelter’s profile and liked his bio — a description he later admitted he’d lifted from another user.

Eckert e-mailed Stelter asking for a photo. He obliged. She liked what she saw. They arranged a phone call. Then a date. “We just talked and talked,” said Eckert of their first date. Four months after their first date, he popped the question.

Her two daughters policed her picks to make sure that they were legit. “We talked about how she should meet in a public place and let us know when she’s leaving and to call us when she gets back to tell us about it. Once she did that, it was fine,” said her daughter Liz Costa of Milford.

Tracy warns that online dating “scams take hundreds of millions of dollars away from people every year.”

Here’s how to tell if your online sweetie might be a scammer: They ask for money, your bank account information or want you to cash a check. You can rarely reach them on the phone. They claim to be in love within 24-48 hours. Their photo doesn’t match their profile description. Their profile disappears shortly after the conversation begins. Their grammar is not consistent with their country of origin. They don’t answer personal questions. They misspell the name of the town where they supposedly live. They want to send you packages and letters and have you forward them to another address. (The goods may be stolen.) They ask you to get on your webcam but don’t have one of their own. They are “away on business” for long periods of time.