2010, I will remember you well ...

For better or for worse, here’s what I’ll remember about 2010 if asked to testify about it 10 years from now:

I will remember the wandering bear who captured our hearts and interest for several days in 2010 as he wandered through the Valley.

If a visitor ever asks, “How do I safely cross through the Valley and have people feed me,” the smart answer is to dress like a bear.

Just don’t take the bear’s lead on power-pole safety as that’s how he finally met his fateful end after being lured out of Boardman with shortcake.

I will remember, because of 2010, that it is best to die in Mahoning County between the hours of 9 a.m. and 5 p.m., Monday through Friday, if you want your family to be told officially that you are deceased. These are the times that work best for the county coroner’s office. This was demonstrated to us last spring when three Campbell kids died.

The coroner, David Kennedy, who is paid $63,000 of our tax dollars to work 20 hours per week, said this was the only way he could manage his office after budget cuts. The option to work 40 hours was not discussed.

His punishment? He got more money added to his budget.

I will remember that when the day comes to leave my current employer, I will not do it on ESPN.

Further, I will remember to ask my employer to buy my home like college presidents do. “I’m just asking ...”

I will remember always to be sure that my next job will never be mayor of Campbell ... or Newton Falls ... or Sharon ... or (add your town here).

I will remember that if I need to hire a new person, I will want him to come in as engaging as YSU football coach Eric Wolford and as engaged as Youngstown schools boss Connie Hathorn.

I will remember to not go to a bar-band performance and block the guy whom state Rep. Bob Hagan blocked — and subsequently got cold-cocked in 2010.

“I can’t see ...” the young man will tell me.

“Allow me to crawl away ...”, I will reply.

I will remember that if I am ever to go into the drug trade, I will wear my pants unlike Mike Miller, whose 2010 getaway from Youngstown police was hampered by his pants’ falling to the ground, and he subsequently tripped over a tree.

I will remember that if I’m ever to be in a workplace when a natural disaster strikes, I want to be surrounded by the staff at Mahoning County Job and Family Services. It was they in 2010, and not the millions of others between here and Montreal, Canada, who had the keen ability to know not to return to work due to the earthquake that just struck.

Well ... it struck in Canada. Here? It rumbled with the ferocity of a snowplow.

But thank heavens, the JFS workers saved themselves so they can continue, as their broken Web page says, “Making Mahoning County Government Work for You.”

I will remember always to be careful what interns are allowed to do in the workplace — especially if I want part of $32 million from the federal government.

I will remember that if I ever need to hire a baseball coach, I will be wary if the resume says “formerly coached at Chaney High School” because it likely won’t include “stole kids’ equipment and sold it for cash.”

Todd Franko is editor of The Vindicator. He likes e-mails about stories and our newspaper. E-mail him at tfranko@vindy.com. He blogs, too, on vindy.com.