ANNIE’S MAILBOX: His mom, a smoker, is being selfish

By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar

Dear Annie: I am having a problem with my mother-in-law. My husband is so upset that he doesn’t plan to speak to her again.

My mother-in-law is a smoker. So are my husband, mother and father-in-law. We have asked everyone to smoke outside because I have young children and one has upper-respiratory issues. We have a screened-in porch with comfortable furniture where people are welcome to enjoy themselves. No one has a problem with this except my mother-in-law. She refuses to smoke outside. In addition, she refuses to visit unless she can smoke wherever she wants.

Mom doesn’t believe smoking causes health issues, so we no longer allow our daughter to visit Mom at her home. In the past, our daughter has come home with inflamed bronchial tubes, requiring a nebulizer to breathe.

Mom has turned this into a major feud, saying we are disrespectful to her. In her attempts to force us to allow her to smoke in the house, she has said some nasty things to my husband. My husband is a wonderful son and has always been there for his mother. Now he is “dead” to her.

Mom has told the entire family that we cut off access to the grandchildren “for no reason.” She phoned our 10-year-old daughter and said Mommy and Daddy won’t let her visit. She told her to work on convincing us to let her smoke inside.

We have never said a bad word to this woman. We always speak to her calmly, but we are not going to give in about the smoking. We’ve begged her to visit more often so our daughter can see her, but she refuses to abide by the rules. What can we do?

Texas

Dear Texas: Nothing. You have made your home welcoming to smokers and nonsmokers alike. Your mother-in-law is being a selfish pain in the behind and values her convenience over her family. This is HER choice. Continue to be calm, but do not give in. Shame on her.

Dear Annie: I am a 46-year-old single mother of two. I recently had an interview at a small company and was asked whether I was married and had children.

I thought this was against the law. I answered truthfully, and I believe that’s why I did not get the job, but how do I prove it? How am I supposed to answer such questions without appearing rude or evasive?

Discriminated Against

Dear Discriminated: Prospective employers are not supposed to ask about your marital status, religion, age or whether you have children. It’s another way of finding out whether you might have trouble working overtime or weekends. You can respond indirectly by saying that you are capable of performing whatever duties are required and putting in the necessary time. You also could say that you prefer to keep your personal life private. If you feel you’ve been discriminated against, contact your state board of labor, the National Labor Relations Board or the EEOC.

E-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045.

Creators Syndicate