ANNIE’S MAILBOX: She admits problem but won’t see doctor

By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar

Dear Annie: Last summer, my 23-year-old daughter, her husband and their 2-year-old son moved in with me. My husband and I wanted to help them get back on their feet, and we also wanted my daughter to go back to school.

My daughter has some mental-health issues. The last time they lived with us, she had a tantrum and called my ex-husband to pick them up and drive them to another state. We told her we would not tolerate such behavior this time. She returned to school and will graduate soon. Her husband is working, and everything seemed fine until yesterday.

She went off again, accusing me of everything under the sun and calling me names that are not printable. She said that she hates me and that I dumped her and her siblings when they were little. (I left them with my parents for six months after the divorce so I could start a job in another state.)

She is no longer speaking to me, and they are moving into their own place next week. My heart is breaking because she won’t let me see my grandson. She says she is bipolar and takes an antidepressant, but won’t go to the doctor. I have no idea if she is truly sick, but I do know this is a pattern. In a few months, she’ll pull this stunt on her father and her in-laws. Then she will call me asking for assistance. How do I help her?

Out-of-Control Daughter

Dear Out of Control: Your best ally is your son-in-law. Contact the National Alliance on Mental Illness (nami.org) at 1-800-950-NAMI (800-950-6264) and ask for help, and suggest to your son-in-law that he do the same.

Dear Annie: I am 16 and have two parents who love me dearly. The problem is, they ignore me without realizing it. It hurts so much.

I’ve always been shy and soft-spoken. My younger sister is the opposite. She’s such a blabbermouth that I can’t get in a word. I’ve cried to my dad about feeling invisible, but he and Mom simply say it’s not so or tell me not to worry. They say if it bothers me, I should speak up, but that’s not my personality. Any suggestions?

Invisible in Alabama

Dear Alabama: Your parents are not ignoring you. Your sister is simply the squeaky wheel who gets more of their attention because she demands it. We suspect they are enormously grateful that you are so much easier. It wouldn’t hurt to practice being more assertive — it can be a useful skill — but it will also help to speak to your school counselor.

Dear Annie: I read the letter from “Protective Mom,” who thinks every man in the family is going to abuse her 6-month-old baby girl. I am upset that you didn’t put her firmly in her place.

As a father of two, I take personally her accusations that all men are suspect. She has a lot more to worry about than fearing one of her uncles. Tell her to crawl out of the bubble wrap.

K.

Dear K.: We agree that most men are wonderful fathers, uncles, grandfathers and role models to children. However, this is a new mother whose hormones are still on overdrive. She needs to know her daughter is safe. She’ll come around.

Happy Easter to all our Christian readers.

Creators Syndicate