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Military kids battle anxiety
The Vindicator
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Lainne A. Davis, 17, talks with her father, Air Force Reserve Maj. Brent Davis, chief of public affairs for the 910th Airlift Wing at the Youngstown Air Reserve Station in Vienna.
The Vindicator
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Four-year-old Mackenize Snyder of Sharon, Pa., giggles as her uncle, Army Reserve Spec. Douglas Ferguson, tickles her. She is in the arms of her mother, Amanda Snyder, Ferguson’s sister. Mackenize was 2 when her uncle deployed to Afghanistan.
The Vindicator
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When Maj. Brent Davis was deployed to Southwest Asia in 2005 during the Thanksgiving Day and Christmas holidays, his wife, Sonya, tried to keep Lainne and her brother, Martin, 15, busy so they wouldn’t have as much time to worry about their father.
April is national Month of the Military Child.
There are 1.7 million American children under 18 with a parent serving in the military and about 900,000 with one or both parents deployed multiple times, according to the Department of Defense.
The Air Force Teen Council was recently created to help bridge the gap between teens and the Air Force and Air Force Reserve. The council plans to create teen groups and opportunities for Air Force teens to get together and know one another and make new friends to lean on. For more information about the teen council, visit www.afyouthprograms.com. or follow the council on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Air-Force-Teen-Council/144161568963791.
The Yellow Ribbon Families in Farrell, Pa., a support group for military personnel and their families, is reorganizing. Call Lynn Ferguson for more information at 724-342-1651.
Source: U.S. Department of Defense, Air Force, Yellow Ribbon Families.
Military children are quick to say they are proud of their parents, siblings, aunts or uncles serving the nation in war zones around the world.
But for those old enough to understand the danger their loved ones face, their pride is mixed with anxiety and fear, at times overlaid by loneliness and knowing the lost time together and life events can never be recaptured.
They learn through hard experience that duty comes before special times, like holiday family gatherings, in their lives.
A 16th birthday, helping with a school project, that first pee-wee baseball game or dance recital, the no-hitter, the winning basket, the solo in church can be missed by a deployed family member.
April is national Month of the Military Child. It is an opportunity to highlight the important role military children play in the armed forces community and to recognize military children and youth for their character, courage, sacrifices and continued resilience while their loved ones are away from home and often in harm’s way serving the nation.
Even very young military children can be affected by their loved ones’ absence.
Two-year-old Mackenize Snyder of Sharon, Pa., didn’t fully understand. She just knew her Uncle Doug was not there.
Mackenize, the now 4-year-old daughter of Scott and Amanda Snyder, is close to her uncle, Army Reserve Spec.Douglas Ferguson, Amanda’s brother, who is part of the Snyder household.
Ferguson, a member of the 347th Quartermaster Group at Pendel-Caminiti Army Reserve Center in Farrell, Pa., had a big part in training (translation: “bribing”) Mackenize to use the potty.
But when he deployed April 2009 to Afghanistan for a year, Mackenize, regressed and began to resist using the potty.
“We weren’t sure what was going on,” said Lynn Ferguson, Amanda’s and Douglas’ mother, who heads up the Yellow Ribbon Families Support Group in Farrell.
Then little Mackenize turned on the light.
She liked to carry around a picture of her Uncle Doug. She would yell at airplanes to bring him home. The family began to understand when one day Mackenize asked when Doug was coming home so she could go to the potty again, her mother said.
Ferguson expects to be deployed for another year sometime this year.
Older military children have challenges, too.
Lauren and Martin Tancer, 16 and 13, respectively, were 9 and 6 when their father, Maj. David Andrew “Drew” Tancer, director of operations for the 757th Squadron of the 910th Airlift Wing at the Youngstown Air Reserve Station, was activated for two years beginning in 2003; and their stepmother, Tech. Sgt. Skye Tancer, a flight engineer with the 757th, was activated for the same length of time, beginning in 2004.
Lauren and Martin live in Sewickley, Pa., with their mother, Lisa Fadden, during the week. They attend Sewickley Academy.
Lauren is a member of the Air Force Reserve Teen Leadership Council, which she said focuses on bridging the gap between the teens and Reserve leadership; and the Air Force Teen Council which focuses on all divisions of the Air Force.
She and Martin spend weekends with their father and stepmother in East Palestine, who during their deployments did three-month rotations in the Middle East. At one point they were gone at the same time.
“I didn’t quite understand the reality of the danger,” Lauren said about when her father and stepmother were deployed.
She said it was “very difficult” when they both deployed. “We stayed with my mom for the entire time, which was a big change because we normally spent weekends in Ohio.”
“The thought of them getting hurt was always a large fear, especially because at that point the communications were not as developed as they are now so we would only speak with them about once a week,” Lauren said.
“There was a lot of time between conversations to worry that something could go wrong.” she added.
Now, with fuller understanding, Lauren thinks her father’s upcoming deployment might even be harder for her. He is scheduled for deployment in the fall.
“We will miss Thanksgiving and Christmas together and my semiformal dance,” she said.
But her pride in her father and stepmother is clear.
“It takes a different kind of person willing to risk their lives for people they don’t know,” she said.
Martin, who was 6 when his father and stepmother deployed, said he was aware there was a possibility they might get hurt, “but I was young and didn’t really understand.”
He said he missed having his father around, but talking to his stepmom and older sister helped.
Lainne A., 17, and Justin A. Davis, 15, are the daughter and son of Air Force Reserve Maj. Brent and Sonya Davis of Austintown.
Davis, a member of the 910th Airlift Wing and a civilian employee at the Youngstown Air Reserve Station in Vienna, spent three months in Southwest Asia in support of Operations Enduring Freedom and Iraqi Freedom in late 2005 and early 2006, missing Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s Eve with his family.
Lainne, who was 11 when her father was deployed, said she worried about him sometimes but said she tried to keep busy so she was not just sitting there thinking about what could happen.
“That whole time is sort of fuzzy,” she said.
Justin, a freshman at Fitch, was 9 when his dad deployed. He said he missed his father but didn’t think he would get hurt. “I was too young to understand,” he said.
Lainne, inspired by her father’s love of the military, enlisted in the Navy in January and is scheduled to go to boot camp at Great Lakes, Ill., in the fall.
She said one of the problems faced by many military children is not having other young people in the same boat with whom to talk.
Lainne said one of her best experiences was attending Operation Purple summer camp when she was 12. Operation Purple is a free program developed by the National Military Family Association.
“It was neat because we all had something in common. Dad forced me to go, but at the end of the week I didn’t want to come home. It was at that point that a realized I really like the military,” she said.