ANNIE’S MAILBOX: Interest in server is not returned

September 28, 2010 at 4:13a.m.

By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar

Dear Annie: Six months ago, I met the girl of my dreams at a restaurant that I frequent several times a week. I was eating lunch there long before she started serving, but the first day I saw her, I began sitting in her section.

The problem is, every time she comes by, my tongue gets frozen, my voice changes, the words don’t come out right or I say something stupid. She isn’t seeing the real me. A few months ago, I asked her out. She turned me down, saying she is too busy to date and, besides, she doesn’t date customers.

Every day, I like her more. A couple of weeks ago, I couldn’t resist bringing her flowers and a card expressing my feelings for her. She wouldn’t accept the flowers and reluctantly took the card. The next day, she told me I make her uncomfortable and should sit in someone else’s section. I was crushed.

What is the best way to win her heart? Does age matter? I’m 38, and she is still in college. I am not only physically attracted to her. I really want to get to know everything about her. At the very least, I’d like to be friends. Is it possible?

Tom

Dear Tommy: Probably not. You have turned into that creepy older guy who hits on the waitress and won’t take no for an answer. She has made it quite clear she is not interested, and any additional moves you make in her direction will only confirm her low opinion of you. Find another place to eat, and leave the servers alone.

Dear Annie: My husband and I share a computer. I recently came across the complete name and city of an individual with the caption, “activated his profile,” as well as the message, “Sex is live. Come find your partner.”

My husband says he has no idea how this profile popped up on his computer. The only other message in the profile section concerns an entry about my husband’s brother having activated his own profile. I would really appreciate an answer.

Don’t Know What To Believe

Dear Don’t Know: We can’t tell you whether your husband is lying. We can, however, say that it is possible this is some kind of spam, or that his brother set it up and your husband is completely innocent. But keep your eyes open, just in case.

Dear Annie: As a retired strategic planner with the Michigan Department of Corrections who has studied pedophilia, you are certainly correct that “Protective Mother” should be alarmed about her paroled uncle showing affection toward her children.

I suggest the mother, in the presence of her relatives, tell her uncle that he is to keep away from her children at all times, saying, “We know that you haven’t been able to control your emotions around children.”

In addition, her uncle may be breaking his parole restrictions, because most pedophiles are not permitted to associate with young children or to be within a certain proximity of places where children congregate.

B.L.

Dear B.L.: We appreciate your expertise. Many thanks.

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