ANNIE’S MAILBOX: Groups for blind can help ‘Jacob’

September 18, 2010 at 10:58a.m.

By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar

Dear Annie: I am writing about my 18-year-old son, “Jacob,” who is blind. He is a bright, intelligent young man who lives on his computer. All his friends are visually impaired. The few people he knows at school don’t socialize with him outside of class. All his other friends are only online. I have watched him go from being an outgoing person to becoming a withdrawn young man.

Jacob would like to get a job, but there aren’t many people willing to take a chance on a blind teenager. I thought he might be able to volunteer, but where does he start? We live in an area without bus service, and there is no way for him to get anywhere during the day. I can’t drive him because I’m a single mother and take public transportation myself. I contacted an association for the blind, and they were no help. What do other families do?

Concerned Mom in Pennsylvania

Dear Mom: The American Foundation for the Blind (afb.org) and the National Industries for the Blind (nib.org) have information about county associations, as well as job training and employment opportunities for the visually impaired. The Pennsylvania Association for the Blind (pablind.org) has links to local organizations, and you can ask Jacob’s ophthalmologist for guidance. The American Foundation for the Blind also offers support for families through their website at familyconnect.org. We hope at least one of these wonderful organizations can help you and your son.

Dear Annie: I come from a large family. Between birthdays, religious holidays and graduations, there are lots of family events. My family and I always make an effort to attend these milestones, sometimes traveling six hours or more.

The problem is, when I host similar events for my two children, my relatives feel their attendance is optional. If one of their kids has a soccer game, they don’t bother to come. My kids are just as busy as theirs, but we make it a priority to celebrate major occasions such as a high school graduation. We feel it is important to get to know one’s extended family, including grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins.

Three siblings and most of my nieces and nephews didn’t attend my daughter’s high school graduation because of minor sporting activities.

I have had only two major events for my kids in the past 18 years, but it seems my family members come only if nothing better is going on. I am hurt by this, but my siblings say I am too sensitive. Should I be teaching my children that a weekend soccer game is more important than celebrating our family members’ special times?

Last Resort Sibling

Dear Sibling: Relatives consider some events more important than others — a high school graduation might strike them as meaningful only to the parents, but they wouldn’t dream of skipping your child’s wedding. And in a large family, it is difficult to attend everything. Please let it go.

E-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045.

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