A teen suicide that resonated nationwide

October 10, 2010 at 12:00a.m.

McClatchy Newspapers

TEHACHAPI, Calif.

When Seth Walsh came home from school, he would open the gate to a chain-link fence, walk beneath a tall red oak tree and be greeted by five dogs and two cats.

Seth lived with two brothers and a sister, four children from three fathers who were seldom around, supported by their mother who worked long hours as a hairdresser. Their home was a rental, a few blocks from Tehachapi’s main street.

He was 13, and in the eyes of his grandparents, Jim and Judy Walsh, he was just a normal kid, pushing into adolescence. They looked forward to watching him grow up and never imagined that the harassment he experienced as a gay teenager or that his suicide would resonate across the country.

They want to make sure their grandson isn’t remembered only as “the gay kid who hung himself,” so they tell stories about a bright and precocious child who enjoyed playing with their dog, Bambi, and who liked the Jonas Brothers and Magic Mountain.

The Walshes realize that Seth’s gentleness made him a target, and they recall listening to his mother, Wendy, as she shared her worries about Seth and what he had to endure.

The teasing and bullying began in fourth grade. At first it was because he was different — more comfortable with girls, not interested in sports, neither aggressive nor assertive — and then it was because he thought he was gay. Once classmates found out, and the news spread, the abuse became more focused and cruel.

Jim and Judy Walsh accept that Seth’s suicide — along with the suicides of Tyler Clementi, 18; Billy Lucas, 15; and Asher Brown, 13, all within 21/2 weeks — is now part of a national conversation about the consequences of being harassed when you are young and gay.

In the halls at school, students would bump him in the shoulder as they walked by. He’d get hateful messages on his cell phone — or, if he answered, a rude comment, an obscenity.

Wendy tried to help him as best as she could. Jim and Judy recall the time when she went to pick him up at school, and a student called out “queer.” The next day, Wendy went to the principal, and the boy was suspended.

There was little she could do, though, as Seth grew more afraid. After his suicide, Jim and Judy heard stories about students goading him to take his life (”Why don’t you hang yourself?”) or promising “to get him” on the way home from school.

Jacobson Middle School became unbearable for Seth. For a few months in seventh grade, he switched to a charter school. Last August, he returned to Jacobson, and after just a week in eighth grade, the harassment started up again. He decided to stay at home on independent study.

But friendships were important to Seth, his grandparents say, which is why he went to West Park on a Sunday afternoon last month. It was close to the Kmart and the fast-food restaurants where his friends liked to hang out.

Accounts vary as to what happened next. According to the police, four or five teens started to follow Seth, and he called his mother, asking her to pick him up. She later told Jim and Judy that he sounded scared.

But Wendy was studying at the time. She had been taking classes in Bakersfield, hoping one day to be a paralegal. She had grown accustomed to hearing fear in his voice and told him to walk home. It was less than a mile.

Not long after, he called again, and she agreed to meet him. When she arrived, she saw a group of teens, some of whom started to walk away. According to his grandparents, he was especially hurt that one of his friends who was there did nothing to help him.

Once home, Wendy went back to her studies. Seth took a shower and later asked his mother for a pen. When Wendy took a break for a cigarette, she saw that he had hanged himself from a tree in the backyard.

Police officers arrived; they found him on the ground, unconscious and not breathing. One began CPR, and within half an hour, Seth was in a helicopter heading for the trauma center in Bakersfield.

Wendy gave the suicide note to the police.

Eight days later, on Sept. 27, the doctors declared Seth brain-dead. Arrangements were made for organ donation, and he was eventually taken off life support. His family gathered to say goodbye.

As they started to prepare for a memorial, they discovered that Seth’s MySpace page had been defaced with pornography and demonic symbols.

The memorial was held at First Baptist Church, just across the street from Seth’s home. More than 570 people crowded into the small building. A hundred waited outside.

The Tehachapi Police Department has received e-mails, mostly anonymous. Some refer to Seth’s suicide as murder; others question why charges haven’t been filed. Police say they are investigating accusations of assault, battery and criminal threats.

The school district has come under criticism as well. The principal at Seth’s school has received threatening messages and e-mails from people around the country who feel that the school did not do enough to protect Seth from the bullying.

The school is reviewing its records in an attempt to corroborate the family’s claim that reports had been filed of Seth’s harassment by other students. The superintendent of the school district, Richard Swanson, met with a representative from a Kern County gay and lesbian group to assess the campus programs designed to encourage tolerance.

Their conclusion was that the district’s measures were fairly thorough — quarterly assemblies on behavior, field trips to the Museum of Tolerance, discipline procedures for bullying, security cameras on campus — though they didn’t prevent Seth’s death.