ANNIE’S MAILBOX: Heavy relatives worry sibling

November 27, 2010 at 12:15p.m.

By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar

Dear Annie: Four of my five siblings and their partners are tremendously overweight. Two of my sisters claim to have the “family fat genes.”

I love my siblings, but sadly, their children are now “blossoming” into overweight adults. I live in another state, and when I visit them, I find it difficult to eat well and get enough exercise. My weight has been a struggle, and I am a lifetime member of Weight Watchers. I see it as being essential to my health. The few times I have raised the subject, my siblings either refuse to talk about it or laugh it off.

I sometimes suggest healthier meal options and a walk after dinner, but those things have little effect when coupled with a family barbecue complete with high-fat, high-calorie foods and multiple sugary desserts, not to mention hours of sitting in front of the TV.

I am terribly worried about their health. Is there anything I can say or do to encourage them?

Concerned Sibling and Auntie

Dear Auntie: Research indicates there truly are “fat genes” — genetic markers that show an increased likelihood of obesity. However, those are the very people who must work harder to exercise regularly and watch their diet in order to stay healthy. All you can do is model healthier alternatives and talk to each one individually, letting them know how much you love them, and that you will be supportive and helpful whenever they are ready.

Dear Annie: “Frank and Laura” are two people I am not friends with anymore. I have told this to them on previous occasions, yet they refuse to accept it.

Lately, they have been visiting my home without calling and expect to come in and be entertained. They always seem to show up during dinner, and I know they expect us to serve them whatever we are having.

I don’t know if they are being stubborn, but I want to make it clear in a delicate but firm way that the visits must stop.

Confused

Dear Confused: Is it possible that Frank and Laura are having financial troubles and appreciate a free meal? If so, it would be a kindness to continue. Otherwise, you need to be more forceful. When they ring the bell, tell them it’s not a good time to visit, and don’t let them past the front door.

Dear Annie: I am writing in response to “Concerned Mom in Pennsylvania,” who has a blind 18-year-old son. I, too, am legally blind. Using resources such as the California State Department of Rehabilitation, I was able to go to college and get the accommodations I needed to be successful. I am now a practicing psychotherapist.

One of the most important life-changing resources is my dog. I acquired her at no cost through Guide Dogs for the Blind of San Rafael, Calif. She has transformed my sense of isolation to one of empowerment and connection.

Finding Light in California

E-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045.

Creators Syndicate