ANNIE’S MAILBOX: Clingy ‘Colette’ irritates one wife

November 23, 2010 at 4:13a.m.

By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar

Dear Annie: My husband and I regularly go camping with several other couples. There is usually drinking going on throughout the day.

The wife of one of the other couples seems to pay a great deal of attention to my husband. Recently, we were sitting on the sand together, and “Colette” sat down in front of me and “lost” her balance. She put her hand on my husband’s thigh to steady herself and left it there for an hour.

Colette hangs around him a lot and is clingy. When I mentioned her behavior to my husband, he said I was overreacting. I think Colette is crossing the line, and it’s causing problems between my husband and me. Should I be concerned?

Wondering Wife

Dear Wondering: Drinking lowers inhibitions, but it doesn’t mean Colette isn’t aware of her flirting. And your husband probably enjoys it. He should put a stop to it, but since he apparently has no intention of doing so, you could take a more proactive stance.

If Colette trips and falls on your husband’s lap, grasp her hands and pull her up, exclaiming, “My goodness! I hope you’re OK.” Then make sure you sit down next to your husband and place Colette on your other side.

Dear Annie: My mother has had Alzheimer’s for more than eight years. At first, I moved her into my home and took care of her, but it became impossible. My sister, God bless her, then moved Mom to a nursing home in her state.

When my mother was well, I spent a lot of time with her, took her to Europe and enjoyed a three-week vacation with her. I haven’t seen Mom since she moved into the nursing home. I want to remember her my way.

My sister feels that I should see Mom. I couldn’t take the heartbreak. My sister is at her wits’ end with me. Am I wrong to not want to go?

Pam

Dear Pam: Please go see your mother. This isn’t about what makes you comfortable. It’s about showing respect for Mom and alleviating the stress your sister has taken on by being the only family member to visit. Mom deserves to be acknowledged and loved in all her incarnations.

Dear Annie: I read the letter from “At a Loss,” whose mother hoards at home, yet manages to be well-organized at her job. That situation is similar to one my late father encountered. He used the services of “Louise,” a 50-something secretary who did exceptional work and typed neatly. She corrected my Dad’s spelling and punctuation errors, as well. At the office, she was dressed to the nines.

When I hired Louise to type my master’s thesis, I needed to visit her home, and it was a dump with garbage and trash stacked everywhere.

Two years after that, Louise stopped caring for herself. She had no family nearby, so my father and people from her church had her committed in order to protect her.

Story in Michigan

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