ANNIE’S MAILBOX: Allergies have her missing grandkids

November 21, 2010 at 9:09a.m.

By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar

Dear Annie: When my husband retired, our daughter asked us to move near her because she was expecting twins. We took care of the children every day.

Two years ago, our daughter announced she was getting a cat. Unfortunately, I am allergic to cats and cannot take allergy shots because they conflict with my heart medication.

I told my daughter that not being able to come to their home would be devastating, but nonetheless, the cat arrived. I tried to put up with the dander, but it was no use.

When I asked my daughter why it was so important to have the animal, she said it was “an emotional thing.”

My son-in-law hates the cat, and the children ignore it entirely. My grandson is exhibiting signs of an allergic reaction. Our grandchildren are now 8, and I haven’t been in their home for some time.

I feel so sad at not being able to spend as much time with my grandchildren as I used to. My husband and I are in good health, have many friends and an active social life.

We take the children to church and are always available for them when needed, but it’s not the same.

It won’t be long before the twins will be teenagers and involved in their own social world.

We have already lost a great deal of the past two precious years. We once asked our daughter to reconsider the harm the cat is doing to the entire family, and she stopped speaking to me for quite some time, so I apologized.

We keep our relationship pleasant and loving, and I do not think this was a deliberate alienation. What, if anything, can we do?

Having a Pity Party

Dear Pity Party: Find the silver lining. Your daughter hasn’t cut you off, and apparently, her decision to get a cat is about her and no one else. Your problem is simply location. Pick up the kids, and bring them to your house. Take them to the park or the zoo. Have them stay with you for a weekend. There’s no reason to let the cat keep you from seeing your grandchildren. Count your blessings.

Dear Annie: I would like to respond to “Los Angeles,” who had lunch with her six college friends. She asked whether or not her friend’s husband was out of line when he blessed their lunch.

Why is she concerned with something as innocent and simple as the blessing of a meal? Maybe if she were forced to go without food for several days she would see things in a different light.

This world would be a much better place if we all didn’t try to take offense to such small matters.

Frankfort, Ky.

Dear Frankfort: We agree that it is not a major issue, but then again, it would be nice if people didn’t assume everyone wants their meal blessed by a pastor. Depending on the blessing, it could indeed be offensive to some, and it doesn’t hurt to ask first.

E-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045.

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