ANNIE’S MAILBOX: Cheating continues as long as they talk

By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar

Dear Annie: My wife and I have been married for five years and have three children. Recently, she cheated on me, so we went for counseling. Toward the end of our six weeks of counseling, I caught her in bed with the Other Man.

She begged for forgiveness, and we are now getting counseling through our pastor. The man with whom she had the affair continues to call her on a daily basis. Sometimes they talk for up to an hour. She told me he tried to commit suicide and she feels obligated to speak with him as a friend.

I don’t feel right about this and have told her so. She claims angrily that I am being controlling and possessive, and that I invade her privacy. Both counselors have advised her to end all ties with this man. Am I right to think she should no longer talk with him, or am I being jealous and possessive?

Need Help

Dear Need Help: Your wife must stop all contact with this man immediately if she expects to save her marriage. By staying in touch with him, she is continuing to cheat on you emotionally. It’s time to put your foot down. You are not being “jealous and possessive.” She is being disingenuous and pulling the wool over your eyes. Don’t let her get away with it.

Dear Annie: I read the letter from “Needing Advice,” whose married boss is having an affair with a co-worker. As a recently wronged “boss’s wife,” I think she should tell the wife what’s going on.

After my third chemotherapy treatment, my husband began an affair with an employee. She came on to him, expressing concern for his role as a caregiver. This woman is married with three children. No one told me about the affair — not even her husband, who was desperate to stop it.

Now she and my husband have informed me that I have to vacate my house, and I have nowhere to go. She intends to stay married for the sake of her children, but doesn’t want me living in the house with my husband. She also doesn’t want to give him time to see whether we can work things out. Instead, she says she will expose the affair and disgrace him. And she threatens to commit suicide if he even so much as looks at me.

I wish someone had told me about their affair. I beg anyone who knows of such a situation to let the wronged spouse know immediately. They will appreciate it.

Wronged

Dear Wronged: An employee owes her loyalty to her boss. If he is misbehaving, she can discuss it with him or even quit, but telling his wife is above her pay grade. Your husband is involved with a woman who sounds unbalanced, but he is permitting it to continue. A man who truly wants a chance to reconcile will find a way. Your husband sounds like a prize jerk. We hope you have good legal counsel.

Dear Readers: Don’t forget to set your clocks back one hour and replace the batteries in your smoke alarms.

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