ANNIE’S MAILBOX: Cousin is ill, abusing his wife

By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar

Dear Annie: How do you get a mentally ill person to see a psychiatrist when he thinks he’s perfectly fine?

I have a cousin who immigrated to the U.S. with his family a year ago. I believe he had some issues before they came, but the new environment and financial pressure finally buckled him. Two months ago, he started interrogating his wife about her hundreds of alleged affairs and other nonexistent misbehavior. Since then, it has become a daily ritual of verbal and sometimes physical abuse of his wife.

I live 300 miles away and have tried to talk to him over the phone. When I suggested he see a doctor, he exploded. I suspect he is schizophrenic or bipolar, but he refuses to admit he’s ill, and I don’t know how to get him to seek psychiatric help. How can we get him to a doctor?

Trying To Help

Dear Trying: You cannot force your cousin to seek medical help, but you can try to protect his wife. Suggest that she contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline (thehotline.org) at 1-800-799-SAFE (1-800-799-7233). You also can contact the National Alliance on Mental Illness (nami.org) at 1-800-950-NAMI (1-800-950-6264).

Dear Annie: Last night, I ate at a local chain restaurant. I always bring a book to read when I dine alone, so I asked to be seated somewhere “quiet.” I was put in a booth behind two young women in their early 20s, and across from us was a couple with a young child.

I was appalled by the women’s conversation. Every other word began with “f.” I turned around and politely asked one woman to please dial down the profanity, as there was a young child near. Her response was, “He can’t hear me, and mind your own [expletive] business.”

I moved to another booth on the other side of the restaurant. Do restaurants have the right to ask diners to tone down their language or leave?

Mortified in Michigan

Dear Mortified: If diners are disruptive and loud, management may ask them to be quieter or to leave. However, the use of profanity would generally not be sufficient cause to evict them, especially if the parents of the child in question did not notice or complain. In most instances, the best you can do is ask to be moved — which you did.

Dear Annie: You could not be more wrong in response to “To Cap or Not To Cap,” whose husband mixes uppercase and lowercase letters within his words. When I get business correspondence with misspellings and crazy punctuation, it tells me someone is too lazy even to use spell-check. I would not hire them for a job that requires attention to detail.

Fed Up with Slobs

Dear Fed Up: When typing a business letter, we agree that it is important to use appropriate sentence structure. But when sending a personal text message or e-mail, these things are less relevant.

E-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045.

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