ANNIE’S MAILBOX: She’s tired of his cheating with men

By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar

Dear Annie: My husband and I are in our late 40s and have been married 20 years. We have four kids. We are both well-educated professionals.

A few years ago, I learned my husband was having one-night stands with other men. We went for counseling, and he promised to stop. Last summer, I found evidence that he’s up to the same thing. Again, we had counseling. Again, he made promises to stop. But last night, same old, same old.

My husband claims he’s bisexual and I’m the one he loves. I can no longer stand being married to a cheater. If I’m not his cup of tea, so be it. But what do we tell the kids?

In the Middle of Nowhere

Dear Middle: If you have decided the marriage is over, the children should be told what any child of divorce needs to know — that although the parents are no longer able to be together, the children are still loved and cherished. There is absolutely no reason to mention Dad’s sex life. Please go back to your counselor — with your husband — and learn how best to minimize the damage.

Dear Annie: My brother and his wife never host a holiday dinner gathering. Either my mother or I do it. I feel taken advantage of, but when I suggested it was their turn, they became quite defensive.

My mother’s birthday is coming up, and my brother and sister-in-law decided to have a dinner and are excluding me. How do I handle this situation?

Left Out in the Cold

Dear Left Out: You struck a nerve with your brother and his wife, and now they are punishing you because you made them feel guilty. You can do nothing about their pettiness, although your mother should lodge a complaint and insist that you be included. Either way, the best response is to be gracious and forgiving.

Dear Annie: Last year around this time, you printed a letter from “Desperate Alcoholic,” the 48-year-old woman who could not stay sober. You then printed a response from a woman who had the same problem. When her husband died, she finally went for treatment and asked the counselor whether she was too old to get well. The counselor replied, “Is your heart still beating?”

Somehow that resonated with me in a way nothing else has. At the time I read that letter, I was 68 and so unhappy. I was depressed, severely overweight, feeling helpless and smoking two packs a day.

I have taken that phrase as my mantra. I have lost 45 pounds and my smoking is down to three cigarettes a day. I am active in the life of my 5-year-old grandson.

I am still far from where I want to be, but I am no longer where I was and wanted you to know. Thank you.

Elaine from California

Dear Elaine: We are thrilled that letter helped you, and we bless that counselor for those wise words. Many people read our column for entertainment, and then one day, a particular letter will hit home and we hear “That letter could have been written by me.”

Creators Syndicate