ANNIE'S MAILBOX: She refuses to play her mother's games

March 20, 2010 at 9:48a.m.

By KATHY MITCHELL & MARCY SUGAR

Dear Annie: My son was recently married in a small, private ceremony. For some unknown reason, my mother did not want to attend, but eventually, she and my father decided to show up.

The entire time, my mother acted very rudely toward my son, my in-laws and me. We caught her lying, and she tried to blame my mother-in-law. A few days later, she falsely accused us all of various things.

My mother is spiteful and vindictive. Plus, she is a compulsive liar. Since the wedding, I have kept my distance. However, my father has told other relatives I should not treat my mother this way and should forgive her. Mom has always turned situations like these in her favor. The family will never hear my side of the story because I refuse to play this game.

So how does the truth come out?

Daughter of a Witch

Dear Daughter: We assume other family members are well aware of Mom’s personality flaws, and you shouldn’t feel you have to defend yourself to them. If they ask about the rift, you can tell them your version of events. It is also possible to forgive your mother while keeping your distance from her emotional abuse, and we recommend it.

Dear Annie: I have been married to my high-school sweetheart for three years, and we have a beautiful little girl. The “other person” in our relationship is his PlayStation 2.

My husband has played these annoying video games since I met him. He will tie up the TV all evening and doesn’t spend any time with his family. I want him to grow up.

We have discussed this problem several times, and he will stop for a while, but then start right back up again. We even purchased a second TV for him to play on, but it doesn’t change the amount of time he spends with the baby. We have planned family nights, but they never happen. How can I get him to stop?

Video Widow

Dear Video Widow: It’s time to put your foot down. Explain to your husband that he doesn’t seem to have the self-control to turn off the game as promised, so you want him to pick a specific period of time every day when you will unplug it.

Dear Annie: Your advice to “Life’s a Beach” was way off base. Every summer, she has to put up with his many relatives visiting. You said she can’t do anything if her husband keeps telling the relatives they are welcome, and that she should make her own plans.

Excuse me? She is supposed to leave her own home? It’s high time she invoked her homeowner’s right to tell these people “no.” What gives her husband the right to ignore her wishes and capitulate to these spongers? She’ll eventually resent him for it.

Dear CM: And he’ll resent her for it. Compromise is best, but when that doesn’t happen, it is unrealistic to think you can control someone else’s behavior.

Creators Syndicate