ANNIE’S MAILBOX: Previous experience left her distrustful

June 13, 2010 at 10:33a.m.

By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar

Dear Annie: I am a 21-year-old professional woman with two children. My boyfriend, “Rickie,” and I have been together for two years, and I am consumed with jealousy. I don’t want him to work because I’m afraid he’ll flirt with a co-worker or have an affair. He used to have a job, but I forced him to quit.

Rickie claims I am the only woman he loves, but it doesn’t change my response. My previous boyfriend cheated on me, and it really hurt. I don’t want to lose Rickie the same way. What’s wrong with me? Is it natural to feel like this?

Gone Crazy in Guam

Dear Guam: No. Your behavior (making him quit his job) is irrational and way over the top. You need to get it under control before you drive Rickie away. We understand that your previous experience has made you distrustful, and it’s also possible that Rickie is giving you a reason to worry. But trust is the bedrock of a good marriage, and if it’s not there, for whatever reason, you will have ongoing problems. Ask your doctor to refer you for counseling, together with Rickie if possible, but alone if you must. You need help.

Dear Annie: I laughed about the woman who assumed her sons would not want their future brides to wear her wedding dress since her marriage to their father ended in divorce.

I married 54 years ago. In those days, no one had their wedding dress professionally preserved. Most girls stored the dress in a box in the closet. I once attended a wedding where the bride wore her mother’s dress. It was as yellow as the stripe in my kitchen wallpaper and did not fit her well.

Since I knew I would never allow my dress to be worn again and we had beautiful pictures of our wedding, I took it to a neighborhood enclosure and set it on fire with a kitchen match. I never told anyone, and no one ever asked what happened to my dress. I never had any regrets.

Celebrating 54 in Jacksonville, Fla.

E-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045.

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