Q&A: Rob Schneider

By JOHN BENSON

entertainment@vindy.com

Comedian-actor Rob Schneider’s career notoriety may be mostly centered around his four-year stint on “Saturday Night Live,” his lead in feature film “Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo” and his repeated appearances in Adam Sandler films. However, during a recent 15-minute conversation with the intelligent funnyman, the topics ranged from offending Yoko Ono on his new comedy CD “Registered Offender” (due out June 25) to why LeBron James should stay in Cleveland, his upcoming role in “Grown Ups,” Halliburton, fat Americans and more. Schneider makes his Cleveland debut Thursday through Saturday at Hilarities 4th Street Theatre.

Q. So what brings you to Northeast Ohio?

A. I don’t think I ever performed in Cleveland. It’s an interesting city. I want to hit the major cities and do stand-up in clubs. I’m taking this very seriously and not just doing the celebrity victory lap. Cleveland is a town I’d be interested in seeing how people are feeling these days about LeBron James and America being broke and this crazy health-care system we have here.

Q. Just a hint of advice, you may want to avoid the LeBron James talk. We’re kind of nervous.

A. First of all, I think LeBron owes it to the city to give them one more shot at it. It would be nice if LeBron stuck it out and got a championship there. It’s so boring, the big star leaves and goes to another place. It’s hard for smaller- market teams to keep guys and I think Cleveland has bent over backward and spent money and built a team around him.

Q. So apparently your jokes about Yoko Ono on “Registered Offender” led your then-record label, which you shared with Mrs. John Lennon, to drop you. Were you surprised at the turn of events?

A. It’s pretty funny. I offend everybody. To be honest, I didn’t realize until I listened to the whole thing how offensive it is because I recorded it over a couple of years. It’s dirtier than I wanted it to be, but it is what it is.

Q. Something we hope is dirty is your upcoming movie “Grown Ups,” which features Adam Sand-ler, Kevin James, Chris Rock and David Spade. What can you tell us about the flick, due to be released June 25?

A. It’s just fun. Adam wrote the movie about these kids who played in this Catholic Youth League together 30 years ago. They get back together because their coach dies. Some of them are successful, some aren’t. Some have successful relationships, some don’t. They really haven’t changed a lot. And of course Adam wrote it so he’s married to Selma Hayek. And he wrote me married to a 74-year-old grandmother. I guess my character has a problem committing to relationships and when you’re with a 74-year-old woman, you know it’s only a five-year relationship. So it’s funny, and I think poignant, too. There’s definitely more than a little bit of truth in these characters.

Q. The truth for you right now is a return to stand-up comedy. Why are you back in the clubs and what topics are you talking about?

A. I started out a stand-up and now I’m coming back to it. I’m finding with America, which is an empire on a decline, you have people [who are angry]. It’s an interesting time. America’s broke and we have to face the fact we’re broke and we can no longer afford to spend 40 percent of our discretionary income on the military. And people are mad at BP and Halliburton. And they should be mad at Halliburton. Also, how the hell did Halliburton screw us in this administration? Also, we have 66 percent of Americans are fat and a third are obese. This will bankrupt us if we don’t get our population healthy. People don’t want to hear a lecture, so I talk about it in a funny way.

Q. So people should come out to laugh or cry?

A. Just come out and have fun. If people are PO’d, they’re so close to laughing. Anger and laughter are next-door neighbors. So people are angry in America, which means they’re ready to laugh. I have never felt such a sense of America needing to laugh like I have in the last seven months I’ve been touring. And Cleveland is one of the spots that needs to laugh very soon before LeBron James signs to another team.