ANNIE’S MAILBOX: Is there hope for her to not cheat?

July 10, 2010 at 10:11a.m.

KATHY MITCHELL and MARCY SUGAR

Dear Annie: I met my current boyfriend while separated from my ex-husband, and we now have a son together. The problem is, I cannot let go of my ex-husband and his family.

My ex-husband was unfaithful. When I found out, I left him. You’d think I would never cheat since I was the victim of such a betrayal, but I’ve discovered that I have no power over being faithful to my child’s father.

Is there any hope for me to be faithful to any man in this lifetime? I am always asking myself whether there is someone better out there. Do you think my ex and I have a chance at love again?

Lost Unfaithful Love

Dear Lost: Honey, you need to grow up and understand yourself better. Of course you can be faithful, but not if you are still “looking.” You have a child now and a responsibility to provide a stable environment. This means putting his interests above your desires.

Are you pining for your ex because he represents excitement? Have you resolved the issues that ended your marriage? Have you worked on improving your current relationship? Before you upend your son’s life, get into counseling. Ask your boyfriend to come with youIf he won’t go, go alone.

Dear Annie: I’m in high school, and one of my best friends always performs better than I do. We both participate in the same extracurricular activity, and she wins every time.

I am a fairly successful athlete, but nothing compared to her.

I’m so jealous of her abilities that I’ve started secretly to root against her when she competes. She hasn’t seemed to notice, but I worry it’s hurting our friendship.

Green Eyes

Dear Green Eyes: Of course it’s hurting your friendship. To salvage it, you will have to put your jealousy aside. Your friend is very talented, and you suffer in comparison. So stop comparing. She’s Michael Jordan. Put her in a class by herself, and consider your competition to be everyone else. When you can admire her skills without feeling diminished, you will be able to root for her with genuine enthusiasm. Please try.

Dear Annie: My thanks to “Screener” for helping job seekers with our online personas. It offers a chance for counterpoint:

Please instruct your IT department to set up an auto-response for your e-mail applications. We appreciate knowing ours has been received.

Please list a contact person so we can personalize our applications.

Please indicate a reasonable timeline for a response. We’re looking for work, and it puts us in a difficult position if we have to hold out waiting on one job.

Please tell us which website forwarded our application to you. Most of us belong to several, and it helps us (and you) to make sure the r sum is a current one.

Most importantly, if you have hired someone, please send out a mass e-mail to those who didn’t make the cut. This common courtesy goes a long way to instill good will, as we will tell others your company treated us with respect.

P.R.

Creators Syndicate