ANNIE’S MAILBOX: Neighbor left them out of wedding

July 3, 2010 at 8:22a.m.

By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar

Dear Annie: For the past 20 years, I have been fortunate to have four neighbors who have become good friends. We socialize, take care of each others’ houses when one is out of town, and exchange birthday and Christmas gifts. We also have celebrated our children’s milestones.

Last year, “Patty’s” son got married. For several months, she went on and on about the wedding plans, so we were all surprised when none of us was invited to the wedding. She never said a word about our being excluded. After the wedding, Patty rambled on about the festivities and showed us all the pictures. It was a huge wedding, and several of Patty’s other friends were in attendance.

Now Patty’s daughter-in-law is pregnant, and she is planning a baby shower. To this event, we are invited, but we don’t want to go. Although we have known Patty’s son for years, we have never met the daughter-in-law.

Are we wrong to have hurt feelings, or is Patty totally thoughtless?

Nevada

Dear Nevada: Some people separate their friends. But whatever the reason, it was terribly insensitive of Patty to prattle on about the wedding plans and show you the pictures. It is OK to take her aside and tell her how hurt all of you were by the exclusion and see if she says anything that will allow you to forgive her.

Dear Annie: My husband’s best friend called me “gargantuan.” This really hurt me, and my husband didn’t say anything in my defense. Then my in-laws came to visit. I asked what they thought about the comment. They agreed with the description!

I am a 42-year-old female, am nearly 5 feet 9 inches tall and weigh 150 pounds. Now I feel like an ugly, fat freak with long legs. What can I do?

Gargantuan Freak

Dear G.F.: We can only assume your husband’s family and friends must be quite short and rather delicate. You might tell them so.

Dear Annie: I read the letter from “Worried Mom,” whose older son is athletic and a scholar, but whose younger teen, “Logan,” is overweight and unmotivated. I suspect the main problem is that Logan is in the shadow of a superstar older brother.

Logan sounds like a fairly normal teenage boy. My son was bright and an underachiever until he joined his high school Junior ROTC program, in which he excelled. In addition to the way it changed his life, I gained an appreciation for this nation’s military. He is now in his late 20s and making six figures at a major corporation.

LA Mom

Dear LA: Many readers suggested that Mom was comparing her sons, and this is always a bad idea.

E-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045.

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