ANNIE’S MAILBOX: Abused woman needs to get out of the house

February 7, 2010 at 12:00a.m.

Dear Annie: My teenage stepdaughter recently moved in with us. Due to her supposed learning disability, her father enrolled her in the local learning center. She went once and hasn’t been back. She refuses to attend school, do chores or get a job. She constantly talks back to us. She also lies and steals. She’ll tell me her father said one thing and then tell her father I said something else.

She includes herself in our arguments. She does whatever she wants, and her dad allows it. When my husband attempts to punish her, she becomes hostile and throws things at him. He gives up.

It’s reached the point where I want to leave. My friends and co-workers have begun to notice that I seem less cheerful and more depressed.

Also, my husband has been abusive, both verbally and physically, toward me.

Annie, I don’t know how to handle this situation. Help me. Fed Up

Dear Fed Up: If your husband is physically abusive, you must get out of the house immediately. Sometimes leaving can be dangerous, so you should first contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline (ndvh.org) at (877) 799-SAFE ([877] 799-7233). Your husband and his daughter need family counseling so they can find ways to help the girl become an independent, functioning member of society. It sounds like they both could use professional intervention.

Dear Annie: Since the past decade has come to a close, it seems everyone is scrambling to come up with a name for it. When I lived in New Jersey, I heard mention of the “Noughties,” as well as the “Naughty Aughties,” but since I moved to Phoenix, I have not heard any that make sense. What are you and your readers calling this decade? Confused in Phoenix

Dear Phoenix: “Naughty Aughties” sounds like something from the last century. We’ve noticed “The Aughts,” “The Oh’s” (or the “00s”) and “The Zeros,” but that’s mostly in print. We haven’t heard any particular title spoken aloud with any consistency, and we suspect most broadcasters are trying to avoid calling it anything. But it sounds like a good one for our readers to weigh in on. Any ideas?

Dear Annie: This is in response to “Trying To Remain Above Ground,” who objects to people coming into her home without removing their shoes because the dirt and germs they drag in affect her health. She specifically included construction workers in her complaint.

As a contractor, I will tell you that working in any construction site is downright dangerous without proper footwear. Without the support of shoes, working on a ladder is nearly impossible and can lead to disaster. Some tasks, such as taking a measurement inside the home and then going outside to make a cut, become quite time consuming if you have to remove your shoes every time you go inside. I doubt she would like me to set up a saw in her living room.

Most contractors are not trying to be rude. They are just trying to get the job done safely and efficiently. Here are some things the homeowner can do to cut down on the dirt: Remove area rugs and cover the floor with plastic or paper. Inform the contractor before the start of the project that you have extreme allergies or health issues and all employees will need to bring a second pair of shoes for use inside the home. Make sure the contractor understands that if this requirement cannot be met, the job will be postponed or rescheduled.

P.S.: Just a note for her: Germs enter your home in other ways than the bottom of my feet. 20 Years of Satisfied Clients

Dear Satisfied: Thanks for the sensible suggestions.

• E-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net or write to: Annie’s Mailbox‚Ñ¢, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611.

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