ANNIE’S MAILBOX: Brother cheats; she’s nicer than wife

By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar

Dear Annie: For 30 years, my brother has been unhappily married to a horrible, selfish, evil woman who treats him terribly. Our entire family tolerates her to keep the peace.

I found out that my brother is involved with a beautiful, kind woman I know. While I can’t stand my sister-in-law, how do I condone his affair? My sister and brother are also aware that he is cheating, but they support it. What should I do?

Caught in the Middle

Dear Caught: Nothing. This is not your business. Rather than take sides, encourage your brother to resolve the issues in his marriage. For whatever reasons, he has stayed with your sister-in-law for 30 years, and there may be more going on than you realize. He and his wife can seek counseling to work through their difficulties and perhaps improve their lives. And if he wants out of the marriage, he should be brave enough to get a divorce so he can see this “beautiful, kind woman” without turning it into some sordid affair that will eventually make them both miserable.

Dear Annie: Neighbors recently moved in behind us. Our backyards are separated by a fence, and our houses are pretty close. After moving in, our neighbors installed outside speakers. When their music is on, it may as well be in my living room.

I did go talk to them, but all they heard was that I have small children who are in bed by 8 p.m., so the music will be off by 8 p.m. But I am a stay-at-home mom and have to listen to this music all day long. I’d love to have my windows and doors open to enjoy the weather. But then I can’t even hear my TV. What can I do?

Florida

Dear Florida: People are entitled to have speakers outside their home as long as they don’t blast the eardrums of their neighbors. If the music is playing at a normal volume, even though you don’t like it, there’s not much you can do. However, if the music violates local noise ordinances, you can report it to the authorities.

Dear Annie: I’d like to respond to the letter from “Lonely, but Afraid,” who had a terrible dating experience and now thinks all men want from her is sex.

For religious reasons, I was never sexually active, but I dated a lot. Anyone who didn’t respect my feelings about sex would be told to get lost. A woman must have enough self-respect to make sure men understand her wishes. Here is a secret that has been lost: Men like the chase. Even now, some old boyfriends consider me “the one who got away” — and trust me, I am not that cute.

I waited for my husband. He appreciates the fact that I didn’t sleep with the entire world before we met. We have been married 10 happy years, with wonderful kids, no STDs and no fertility issues — just love, plain and simple. Tell “Lonely” to hold on to her convictions. She will love herself more for it in the end.

Waited in Pennsylvania

E-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045.

Creators Syndicate