ANNIE’S MAILBOX: Mothball scent puts all at risk

By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar

Dear Annie: My mother-in-law is coming to stay with us for a weeklong visit. We get along OK for the most part. The problem is that she packs all of her belongings in mothballs — every last item. She keeps mothballs everywhere.

When Mom comes to visit, the stench of the mothballs gives me such a bad headache that I have to make excuses to leave the house. My daughters have bad allergic reactions when their grandmother is around. The last time she was here, my baby got an eye infection from rubbing her eyes.

After her last visit, the linens, the bed and my sofa reeked for months, even after being cleaned. My husband is afraid of insulting her. His answer is to book her a room at a nearby hotel and ignore the issue. I worry about my children’s health. What should I do?

Daughter-in-Law in Hawaii

Dear Hawaii: No one should be overly exposed to the chemicals in mothballs, including Mom. Explain, lovingly and diplomatically, that a strong scent of mothballs clings to her clothing and is unhealthy not only for your children, but for her.

Dear Annie: My brother and his sons live 100 miles away. When visiting me, they will knock on the door while they are entering the house. Sometimes I’m not appropriately dressed, or eating or on the phone.

My nephews are adults, and they don’t visit often, but I’d like to know the correct etiquette. Should they knock and wait until told to come in? Should I tell my brother how I feel about their manners?

I want to be able to tell them to stop without hurting their feelings.

Raised Differently

Dear Raised: Yes, anyone who visits should knock or ring the bell and wait for the door to be opened. But this is why people have locks on their doors. That, of course, would be the simplest solution. However, if you insist on leaving your door open and prefer to say something to your nephews, try this: “I am so happy that you are visiting, but I would truly appreciate it if you could wait until I open the door. Sometimes I’m not dressed.”

Dear Annie: I don’t agree with your advice to “California,” whose grown son acquired a car from his grandfather and didn’t tell Mom. You said he doesn’t need to tell her these things.

He certainly should have shared his joy with his mother at receiving a vehicle (big-ticket item) from his grandfather — or at the very least mentioned the gift. She said they are in constant contact. I think the son’s oversight was thoughtless.

Of course her feelings were hurt. A close relationship means respect and courtesy. The son’s lack of communication was rude.

Mother of Two Grown Sons

Dear Mom: Respect is indeed a two-way street. Sonny Boy is an independent adult who is not obligated to tell his mother everything. He did not intend to hurt her feelings, nor was he rude. .

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