ANNIE’S MAILBOX: Single, pregnant mom faces decisions

By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar

Dear Annie: I am a 22-year-old single mother. Two weeks ago, I left my boyfriend when he began to be physically abusive in front of our child. We are under a court order to have no contact with each other, but I keep in close touch with his parents.

I recently found out that I’m pregnant. Should I tell my ex’s parents so they can inform him? I’m not sure if I’m going to raise the child myself or give it up for adoption. I’m not financially able to care for a second child.

Confused Single Mom

Dear Confused: Your ex has the right to know that he has fathered another child, but you do not have to inform him until you have a better handle on what you plan to do. Please discuss all the pros and cons with someone who will help you make the decision that is best for you and your child. We recommend Planned Parenthood (plannedparenthood.org) at 800-230-PLAN (800-230-7526). They will provide counseling and prenatal care, as well as referrals to adoption agencies if you choose that route.

Dear Annie: When I was mowing our back lawn last week, I noticed that somebody had mowed part of our swale area, which is on the street behind our house. Our grass is always mowed on a timely basis, so it wasn’t a message that our grass was overgrown. Also, there are vacant lots on both sides of our backyard, and neither of those swale areas had been mowed — just ours.

This was not the first time. When it happened before, I discovered that the mowing was being done by one of the neighbors. We are barely acquainted, so I wrote him a polite letter asking him to please stop mowing our swale. A few days later, he came over and said he meant no harm. We had a short, pleasant conversation and the mowing stopped — until last week.

I am annoyed about the trespassing and concerned about our possible liability if this neighbor hurts someone or damages property. Also, I have not been working for the past several months and am home alone all day. I wonder if this neighbor keeps track of my comings and goings in order to mow while I am out. That scares me a bit.

I think the mowing should be reported to the police in order to have a record in case something goes wrong. My husband says that getting the police involved might make matters worse. He also said that no harm was done and most people would tell me to be grateful this guy saved me work.

Should I laugh this off or report it?

Nervous in the Nutmeg State

Dear Connecticut: We suspect your neighbor has a power mower that he likes to use and believes he’s doing you a favor. Still, good neighbors respect one another’s boundaries. Since the situation makes you uncomfortable, have your husband speak to the neighbor and make it clear that he is creating a problem, and if he doesn’t cease and desist, you will be forced to report it.

To all of our Jewish readers: Happy Hanukkah!

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