ANNIE’S MAILBOX: ‘Brian’ needs a good influence

August 31, 2010 at 8:10a.m.

By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar

Dear Annie: My good friend “Kathy” has an 8-year-old son, as do I. “Brian” is extremely smart, but has a sailor’s vocabulary. He also threatens other kids and says he will beat them up. Over the years, he’s been in trouble numerous times, but Kathy blames the school, saying Brian is too smart to sit still and acts up because he’s bored.

She’s right that Brian can easily do the work. However, last week I had to tell Brian that he couldn’t play with my son anymore because of his nasty tongue and the threats he made at a religious program they both attend. Brian’s response was one of confusion. He asked, “Why? What did I do?” I was shocked that he had repressed his behavior so well that he did not even acknowledge that his poor choices may have negative repercussions.

I told him that he had a problem using language correctly. At that point, my son jumped in and gave Brian rules for avoiding trouble, reinforced with an ultimatum that he wouldn’t play with him if he didn’t stop.

When I returned Brian to his stepdad, the man was shocked by what I told him. I can’t have my son around a boy who clearly has no idea how to behave properly. Isn’t it time to write off this friendship because it could hurt my son?

Price of Friendship

Dear Price: We think Brian doesn’t realize how inappropriate he is. It doesn’t help that his mother blames the school, giving Brian the impression that he isn’t responsible for controlling himself. Please don’t write him off. Your son sounds quite capable of being a good influence, as are you. Suggest to Brian’s parents that they get an evaluation from his doctor.

Dear Annie: I’m 21. It’s been four years since my little son passed away, and I’m still depressed.

No one quite gets how I feel, and it hurts. My depression is affecting my relationship with my boyfriend. I’ve tried my best to get help, but I’m not any better. What should I do?

Missing My Son in Hawaii

Dear Hawaii: The death of a child is devastating. You could benefit from speaking to others who have suffered such a terrible loss. Please contact the Compassionate Friends (compassionatefriends.org) at 877-969-0010, and get some help.

Dear Annie: It is unfortunate that Dr. DuComb sees fit to paint a broad brush as to the quality of dermatology care provided by physician assistants and their supervising dermatologists. I think the thousands of patients cared for by our membership would strongly disagree. The training physician assistants go through is extensive and mirrors physician training.

There are PAs who have worked in dermatology for more than 40 years, and their experience is unparalleled. PAs help increase patient access to care, decrease wait time and let physicians spend more time with complicated patients.

Renata M. Block, MMS, PA-C, ISDPA President

E-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045.

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