ANNIE’S MAILBOX: Trust issues plague couple

August 29, 2010 at 10:15a.m.

By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar

Dear Annie: I love my girlfriend, “Candy,” with all my heart. But I have issues with trust. I wanted to see if Candy would be faithful, so I created a fake online profile and sent her a message as “Jake.” We started a conversation. When Jake suggested getting together, she quickly sent her phone number and asked him to call. I continued posing as Jake for three days. When Jake asked whether she planned to leave her boyfriend, she said, “Yes.” The kicker? She told Jake she was going to break up with her boyfriend because of trust issues.

It gets worse. The other day, I saw a text conversation between Candy and some other guy. She told him she wasn’t happy and was going to leave me. This time I confronted her. Candy said it was just talk and meant nothing, and that if she didn’t love me, she would have left already.

I don’t know what to believe. I really love her.

Deep in Love in Arizona

Dear Deep: Kiddo, you’re not in love. You’re in trouble. You don’t trust Candy, and apparently, you now have good reason. Whether she would have been flirting with other guys if you hadn’t set a trap, who knows? But we can assure you, she is definitely not happy and is thinking about walking out. It’s time to stop playing games and have some honest discussions about your relationship.

Dear Annie: I am an adult, but when my mother is around, you would think I am 10 years old. She embarrasses me in front of others, and if I don’t do what she says, she curses and calls me all kinds of names.

Mom thinks I should respect her because she’s my mother, but she has no respect for me. The biggest problem is that she is an incredible liar. If you call her on it, she flat-out replies that she said no such thing.

I am thankful that my mother lives out of state and I only have to see her a couple of times a year. I used to call every day, but no more. However, she will call me four or five times a week. At this point, I have taken all I can and am not sure I still love her. I’d write her off, but my handicapped 55-year-old sister lives in the same house, and I don’t want to abandon her. Thanks for letting me vent.

Not Liking Mother in Connecticut

Dear Not: Happy to help. Mom sounds difficult. Has she been evaluated for mental illness? She could be bipolar, among other possibilities. We worry that she may become abusive toward your sister (if she isn’t already).

Dear Annie: I have been in a situation similar to “Green Eyes,” who is resentful that her best friend outshines her in a shared activity.

I discovered that separating my talents from my friend’s is helpful in dealing with her success. Perhaps Green Eyes could focus on a specialty within her activity or take up a second hobby of her own. I discovered that my friend was jealous of me. Now it’s easier for us to bond over our shared challenges, anxieties and successes.

Anastasia

Creators Syndicate