Hey, Jimbo, you need to call Blago

If, by some occurrence of political madness, the Mahoning Valley’s most famous felon, James A. Traficant Jr., is returned to Congress by the voters of the 17th District, here’s a guarantee: It won’t be long before Jimbo is back to his criminal ways and again becomes the target of a federal probe. The man is corrupt to the core.

That’s why, as Traficant and his minions fight to have his name on the November general election ballot, he should put in a call to former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich, a soul mate if ever there was one.

Jimbo and Blago could emote about the big, bad federal government out to destroy the lives of two “men of the people,” and then they could discuss courtroom strategy.

Spit the hook

Here’s a question the former congressman-turned-prisoner should ask the former governor-turned-minor convict: How in the blazes did you spit the hook on 22 criminal charges and get nabbed on only one?

On Aug. 17, a federal jury in the highly publicized trial in Chicago found the ex-governor guilty of the less serious count of lying to federal agents and deadlocked on all the other more significant counts. Among them, that he conspired to sell the U.S. Senate seat vacated by Barack Obama when he won the presidency and that he engaged in “pay-to-play” schemes.

But the jury failed to reach unanimous votes on all but one of the charges, and Blago declared his to be a David vs. Goliath victory.

By contrast, Traficant was marched off to prison in August 2002 to serve an eight-year sentence after a jury found him guilty of 10 criminal charges, including racketeering, bribery and tax evasion. He walked out of the pen on Sept. 2 of last year after serving seven years and a month.

So, how did a former governor get the better of the federal government, while a former congressman now bears the moniker “ex con”?

The answer lies in the nature of the two men.

Traficant is an arrogant bully, while Blagojevich is said to be self-effacingly pleasant.

But the sharpest contrast was in the conduct of their trials. Traficant defended himself, believing that the magic of 1983 would return. Then, as sheriff of Mahoning County, he successfully fought federal criminal charges of racketeering, bribery and tax evasion.

But what this intellectually dishonest man — he has two master’s degrees — failed to appreciate is that the FBI and the U.S. attorney’s office knew everything about him when they went after him the second time.

Thus, when they nabbed him, the feds were not only prepared for his high jinx prior to the trial, but the judge prevented him from turning the courtroom into a circus ring.

Traficant was urged by friends to hire a lawyer to handle his defense. He refused. He lost.

By contrast, Blagojevich had six lawyers who were so confident of their case that they did not put their client on the stand.

But the former governor isn’t in the clear yet. Last week, federal Judge James Zagel announced that the retrial on the deadlocked charges will begin Jan. 4. Zagel also said that he probably would not allow more than two taxpayer-funded lawyers when the case begins anew.

For now, Blago is riding high — even with the conviction of lying to federal investigators.

There are reports that his name is on the list of contenders for “Dancing With the Stars.” Producers will announce the participants on Monday. Blago has already appeared on “Celebrity Apprentice,” the Donald Trump show.

Conspiracy rant

Traficant, on the other hand, took to the national airwaves upon his release from prison to rant about the federal government’s conspiracy.

His attempt to return to Congress has drawn national attention, which is what he wants. Traficant knows he can’t win, but the publicity he’ll receive as an independent candidate — now that it’s likely he’ll be on the ballot — is priceless.

Perhaps he could star in his own reality TV show called ... “Kooks and Crooks: The Traficant Chronicles.”

Postscript: There was a rally Friday in support of Jimbo and 13 people showed up. No, he wasn’t there. He’s happy to let his see-no-evil supporters do the dirty work and make fools of themselves. It’s vintage Traficant.