ANNIE’S MAILBOX: Protective mother is scared for kids

August 6, 2010 at 4:04a.m.

By KATHY MITCHELL and MARCY SUGAR

Dear Annie: A year ago, my uncle was released from prison after serving time for sexually abusing a little boy and girl. I have two young children. Anytime my uncle is around and I see him pick up my kids and give them kisses, I freak out and yell, “Don’t touch my kids.”

My mother and grandmother think I am being overprotective. They insist he would never hurt my children.

I was sexually abused when I was younger and am very sensitive to protecting my children from what I went through. Am I wrong for being so careful?

Protective Mother

Dear Protective: No. The majority of victims know their abusers, and many are family members. Being related does not protect them. Your children are at risk. Keep your eyes open and do not let him be alone with any of your children at any time.

Dear Annie: I have a rare condition called Dercum’s disease (adiposis dolorosa). It is characterized by painful lumps, lipomas or tumors all over the body, weight gain for no reason, overwhelming fatigue and weakness. It can cause severe pain and, as it progresses, disability. It is difficult to lose weight, and strenuous exercise can aggravate the condition.

Many of us go from doctor to doctor being insulted, but not diagnosed. Dercum’s was identified more than 120 years ago, but there is still no known cause or cure. It is very rare — perhaps 500 people in the entire U.S. have it.

I am a group leader for a Dercum’s disease support group (mdjunction.com/dercums-disease) at 1105 Holly Drive, Lafayette, IN 47909. Please check us out if you have questions.

Diane in Lafayette, Ind.

Dear Diane: We appreciate the useful information for our readers and hope any who are concerned about this disease will check out your group.

Dear Annie: I read the letter from “Married and Alone.” In your response, you suggested she have her hubby’s testosterone checked.

My man got his testosterone checked, and it was very low. There were also outbursts of anger if he was asked about it. We got expensive counseling for anger. It didn’t help the testosterone problem and didn’t do much for the anger problem. The counselor gave no suggestion as to what to do about the low testosterone and, in fact, refused to talk about it, so my man feels he needn’t follow up. Like a lot of men, he doesn’t want to discuss such intimate problems. What’s the solution?

Not Coping

Dear Not: The solution is to see an internist who can test and prescribe medication for low testosterone, something a counselor cannot do. Tell your man you are walking out the door if he doesn’t see a medical doctor. Call in advance, and alert the doctor to the problem in case your guy refuses to discuss it. Assure him he’ll feel so much better if this is taken care of.

E-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045.

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