ANNIE’S MAILBOX: ‘Archie’ could use teamwork approach

April 22, 2010 at 4:19a.m.

By KATHY MITCHELL AND MARCY SUGAR

Dear Annie: I have been married to “Archie” for 20 years. He used to be self-employed, but the business wasn’t going well, so he got a regular job. He worked for a few years, but didn’t like it and decided to go back into business for himself. He said if it didn’t work out, he would find employment elsewhere.

Needless to say, his business is failing, and we are getting behind with our bills. I can only work part time due to health reasons. Archie has sent out a couple of job applications, but hasn’t heard anything yet. I want him to be more aggressive, whether it’s promoting his own business or making follow-up calls to places where he applied for jobs, but he won’t do it.

In this economy, any job would be better than the little he’s doing now. This is having a negative effect on our marriage, because I’m worried about our finances and he doesn’t seem to care about his family. Is he going through some kind of midlife crisis?

Betty

Dear Betty: Is Archie depressed? Does he suffer from undiagnosed Attention Deficit Disorder? Instead of pushing him to be more aggressive, work on the underlying causes. Suggest he see his doctor. Ask how you can help him. See whether a teamwork approach improves the situation.

Dear Annie: Several years ago, you printed a poem about our planet, written by a young girl. Will you print it in honor of Earth Day?

Boston Gal

Dear Boston: With pleasure. It was written by Misha Mayr, then age 9, of El Paso, Texas:

I am the ill earth. People have cut down the trees, which are my lungs. They have polluted the air, which is my brain. They have polluted the streams, which are my blood vessels.

They have polluted the oceans, which are the chambers of my heart.

My wrath has gotten gigantic. My wrath is hurricanes and tornadoes.

I am the ill earth.

If people trash me, I will die, and so will they.

Dear Annie: This is in response to “Little Sister,” whose parents give her money for necessities and her older sibling resents it.

My wife and I are in our early 50s, and her parents are also wealthy. We have always been self-supporting and have never asked them for a dime. My 54-year-old brother-in-law, however, has never supported himself. Everything has been given to him. His parents bought him his house and a car. They pay his bills and give him $2,000 a month.

We tried to explain that these handouts were not helping anyone. We were told he had “special needs” and to mind our own business. My advice to “Little Sister” is to grow up and take responsibility for her own actions.

Resent Injustice

Dear Resent: Some children need help at various times, and it is OK for parents to help. Problems arise when the needy child never becomes self-supporting and the other siblings feel less important.

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