ANNIE’S MAILBOX: He wants to be part of baby’s life

April 21, 2010 at 4:15a.m.

By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar

Dear Annie: I’m 24 years old and confused. I have been in an on-and-off relationship with the same woman for the past eight years.

A year ago, I discovered “Samantha” had been having extended, all-night conversations with “Andrew,” the same guy she cheated on me with in high school. I was so hurt that I broke off our relationship.

We got back together a few months later, but during the break, I got involved with “Ava.” Ava recently had a baby boy and told me I might be the father. I have asked for a DNA test, but in the meantime, I’ve become really attached to the child and told Ava she can call on me any time. Even if the baby is not mine, I would still want to be part of his life. The other potential candidate for fatherhood changed his phone number and moved out of town. No child should grow up without a father.

Am I wrong to want to be a father to this boy even though I’m back with Samantha?

A Man with a Good Heart

Dear Man: Becoming a father to another woman’s child could profoundly change the relationship you have with Samantha. If the child is biologically yours, you have a legal obligation to care for him. If you are not the father, it is kind and generous of you to want to be part of his life, and we hope you will be. But if you intend to stay with Samantha, we recommend you let her be part of the decision. Otherwise, you may have to choose between them.

Dear Annie: My sister, “Crissy,” has been married eight years and has two young children and a third on the way.

The problem is, Crissy bombards the entire family with pictures of her kids. I have two kids, and my brother has three. We all live in close proximity and see each other often. The only gifts Crissy ever gives anyone are huge, framed photographs of her children. It has become a family joke.

Annie, is it in good taste to constantly give framed photos of your family to others and expect them to display them in their homes to the point that it is intrusive?

Running Out of Room

Dear Running: You do not have to display every large photograph Crissy gives you. Exhibit the most current one, and put the others in a box or scan them into your computer. If Crissy asks, tell her you don’t have the space to display all of her photographs, although you’d love to have the pictures without the frames. She may be relieved.

Dear Annie: I share the fears of “Scared to be Alone,” who thinks someone may break into her house. I agree she may need therapy to deal with her phobia. But I also think she should engage the services of a licensed locksmith to see what additional security measures could be put into place.

Worth Looking Into

Dear Worth: Readers also recommended she invest in a state-of-the-art alarm system. These things should indeed help, but if she has a true phobia, no security measure may be enough.

Creators Syndicate