ANNIE'S MAILBOX: 'Sam' turned out to be no prince
By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar
Dear Annie: I was married for 34 years and divorced two years ago. Within months, I married “Sam,” whom I met through an Internet dating site. He treated me like I was all he cared about in this world.
Now I’ve discovered he drinks six to eight bottles of beer every evening. He also does not communicate with me at all, or uses profane and offensive language and says I’m an idiot. Sam said he’d provide for us in our old age with a pension and life insurance, but I’ve learned he has neither. He is a totally different person from the man I fell in love with. I am hurt, lonely and scared.
Sam is 61 and retired. I am 55. He’s never there at all. I am going through counseling alone. He won’t go because he says there is nothing wrong with him.
I am on disability, but a friend has offered to take me in if I decide to leave. I have never lived on my own. This man was married five times before me. I was stupid. Any suggestions?
Dear Scared: You weren’t stupid. You were lonely and vulnerable. If you are unhappy and anxious being married to Sam, consider a separation while you get counseling on becoming less dependent on others.
Dear Annie: I am a 22-year-old gay male and feel like none of my friends care about me. They invite me over because I am funny. They tell stories at my expense, but if I have a serious issue, no one wants to hear it or offer sympathy.
Four of my closest friends recently moved out of state for college, work, etc. I’ve made an effort to get to know my peripheral friends individually, but after making plans to see a movie and not getting a call back and similar such things, it feels as if I am forcing friendships.
I was also raped a few months back and confided in a few of these newer friends, but no support was offered. As a result of the assault, I am awaiting the results of an HIV test, but no one seems worried. However, another member of the group just broke up with his girlfriend and got an amazing reaction. My mind feels fractured, and I have resorted to cutting. Sometimes I hope they can see the marks, but nothing is said. What can I do?
Wanting Someone To Care
Dear Wanting: You are crying for help, but unfortunately, your “friends” think you are only looking for attention. Rape is serious and, along with the cutting, merits professional help. Ask your doctor to refer you to someone.
Dear Annie: “Little Sister” said her parents are helping her out financially, which has enraged her older, more successful sister.
I am the big sister in my family, and my parents did similar things to help out my younger brother. While I understand the feelings of jealousy and sibling rivalry, I am also a mature adult. Big Sister needs to grow up and realize it’s her parents’ money and they can do what they wish with it. My life is more peaceful and happy since I let go of my own jealousy.
Proud Big Sister
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