ANNIE'S MAILBOX: E-mail glitch has separated family

April 10, 2010 at 9:12p.m.

By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar

Dear Annie: My son’s wife sent me an e-mail saying if I step foot on their property, they will have me arrested.

It all began when I had to constantly retype my e-mail addresses. At first, I thought I was entering something incorrectly, as I’m not a genius with computers. But when I had to keep asking my daughter-in-law to send me my address-book information, I realized someone was erasing things. The only one who knew my password was my son’s wife.

To verify my suspicion, I sent an e-mail to a friend my daughter-in-law didn’t know and included a remark about her. Within hours, my daughter-in-law had my son call me about it. When I told him my suspicions that his wife was reading my mail and deleting things, he screamed that my sister had sent the e-mail to her, which is impossible. I changed my password, but she got that one, too.

Now I can’t see my two grandsons. My son talks to his brother and always asks him how his dad and I are doing, but he won’t call us. Please help me find a way to get my son to talk to me.

Miss Those Kids

Dear Miss: There is a possibility that your daughter-in-law was not responsible for your e-mail problems. Deleted addresses can be the result of computer viruses. Even if you are right, accusing her could not possibly have brought you anything but trouble. She may not deserve it, but if you apologize, things might improve.

Dear Annie: I’m not an alcoholic. My wife is. We’ve been married more than 12 years. She started drinking in Year Nine — a couple of glasses of wine. It got worse. She lost her job, got depressed and drank more. We argued a lot, and neighbors called the police. I filed a restraining order. The last time, she was arrested for criminal contempt and did three months in jail. When she got out, she went to rehab. I filed for divorce.

She tried to stay sober, but relapsed. Then I heard she had joined A.A. and was speaking at a local church, so I showed up. When she started telling her story, I realized I wasn’t perfect, either. After the meeting, we talked. The next morning, I canceled the divorce. I attend meetings with her to be supportive and a better person. She just celebrated two years of sobriety, and we are happy. Thanks, A.A. You saved our marriage.

Grateful

Dear Annie: “Wish I’d Known” found out he has ADD, at the age of 70. I am 83, and that letter hit home.

I was married to an intelligent man who undoubtedly had a profound and untreated case of ADD. While in the Navy, he could never maintain order or communicate effectively. In civilian life, he was once so offensive to his co-workers that they threatened to quit. He could not talk to his children except to degrade them. Nothing appeared to interest him. We divorced, but it still had a terrible effect on our daughter, now in her 60s and also diagnosed with ADD. With help, she is doing fine. A lot depends on the understanding of others.

An Old Lady

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