ANNIE'S MAILBOX: Foul on Facebook? Unfriend and forget

April 9, 2010 at 4:15a.m.

By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar

Dear Annie: A while back, I went on Facebook and found many friends I had not heard from in years. My 21-year-old granddaughter sent me a message that she wanted to “befriend me,” and I agreed. “Nicole” is a college student.

I soon began receiving notes in which Nicole swore and made crude remarks. I told her to watch what she wrote, as she should not do this online or off, and reminded her that those messages could be seen by everyone in the family. However, she kept it up, so my husband wrote saying that such terribly crude comments could not be coming from the girl he knew. I did the only thing I could to save her reputation with my family and took her off my list of friends.

Prior to this, Nicole had stopped calling us, never came to visit (except on Christmas, which she said she did not enjoy and was glad when it was over) and didn’t return any of our calls.

We talked to our daughter (Nicole’s mother) about this, and she said there was nothing she could do. I wanted my daughter to tell Nicole that what she says online could hurt her in the future, and that swearing is not the way to get her point across. She sounds angry at the world. What can I do?

It’s Cold in Maine

Dear Maine: Nothing. You have told Nicole how you feel, and you have expressed your disappointment to her mother. You were smart to remove her from your friend list. Now forget about it.

Dear Annie: I am in my late 50s. I lived by myself for 10 years before my significant other moved in six years ago.

I am not sure whether I really want him here or not.

Do other people find that the person they live with drives them crazy? I hate the way he smells when he hasn’t showered. I don’t like him walking on my clean floors with wet boots. His constant embellishments annoy me to the point where I don’t believe anything he says. I’ve never seen a person try so hard to please me, but I attribute that to his not wanting me to throw him out. He’s said as much. Should I just settle?

Always Wondering

Dear Always: Living with someone requires developing a tolerance for their annoying habits. Weigh the pros and cons and choose what makes you happiest.

Dear Annie: I just read the column that included a letter about a flexitarian not finding appropriate food and another from someone bothered by office smokers. Both letters were all about “ME.” Some people need to get off their high horses and become more tolerant.

A Loyal Reader in Louisville

Dear Loyal Reader: Tolerance is an admirable trait, but there are limits. One should not have to tolerate things that are dangerous to one’s health or against the law. And it is a kindness to accommodate the preferences of someone you care about.

Creators Syndicate