Hubby’s disease has wife worried about herself

Dear Annie: My husband and I have known each other for eight years, been married for five. Yesterday he came home from a doctor’s appointment and I was shocked to learn he has hepatitis C.

He says the doctor told him he got it by sharing a needle with someone back in his druggie days 20 years ago. The paperwork the doctor sent home (I read all 12 pages) says you get it through contact with infected blood, so you’re not supposed to share needles, razors, toothbrushes or nail clippers.

I never have done drugs, but I have borrowed his razors from time to time and nicked myself once or twice. We share nail clippers all the time.

I am coming up for major surgery, and we are both the same blood type. He understands he cannot donate for me. The doctor also told him he needs to lay off the hard liquor, but according to my husband, he is allowed to have beer.

The last time I was tested for hepatitis, it came back negative, but this was before the razor and nail clippers. Should I be retested? I am truly terrified. Scared in Northridge, Calif.

Dear Northridge: Yes, you should be retested for your peace of mind before surgery. There is a good chance you are not infected, but it pays to be cautious. Inform your doctor immediately of your husband’s condition. For more information, contact the American Liver Foundation (liverfoundation.org) at 75 Maiden Ln., Suite 603, New York, NY 10038.

Dear Annie: I have a close friend whom I adore. But every time she comes over, she expects me to visit. I have not been feeling well lately, so the last thing I want is to have prolonged conversations about nothing. Several times, she has walked in when I’m preparing dinner and I feel like I have to serve her. She never stays less than an hour, and it’s starting to become a real nuisance.

We both work full time. How can I tell her I don’t have time to entertain her? I never go inside her house when I drop my child off to play, but it doesn’t seem to cross her mind that after working a full day and coming home to two kids and a husband, I don’t feel like chatting about her family for an hour. Ten minutes would be plenty. I love her to death and would never want to hurt her feelings. Please help. Bad Friend

Dear Friend: You fulfill your friend’s need for a place where she can de-stress, but it interferes with your ability to do the same. You have a built-in excuse right now. Escort her to the door after 10 minutes, saying you aren’t feeling well enough to talk. Next time, try, “Sorry to rush you, but there’s so much to do, I simply don’t have time to chat.” Make sure you call her later so her feelings aren’t hurt, letting her know that “later” is a much better time for you to enjoy her company. You might periodically allow her to monopolize your time and vent because this is what good friends do, but don’t be cowed into letting it happen too often.

Dear Annie: “Creeped Out” was concerned about her husband’s nail biting and skin chewing. For years, my son used to do the same thing. Someone suggested taking calcium supplements, so he tried it. He no longer chews his fingers and actually has nails again. He’s very proud of his accomplishment. Hopeful

Dear Hopeful: There is some anecdotal evidence to suggest that a calcium deficiency could be the culprit in some instances. Interested readers should speak to their doctor.

Annie’s Snippet for Grandparents Day (credit anthropologist Margaret Mead): “The closest friends I have made all through life have been people who also grew up close to a loved and loving grandmother or grandfather.”

• E-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net or write to: Annie’s Mailbox‚Ñ¢, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611.

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