Get smart

Get smart

Chicago Tribune: Baby Einstein videos were marketed with a promise many parents found irresistible: Park your kid in front of the television, and let us make him or her, if not a genius, then at least above average.

That pitch was brilliant: A beleaguered parent (that is, every parent) can merely slip in the $15.99 video, flip on the television and voila! Baby gets brainier!

Except ... apparently it doesn’t work. One study suggested that it could have the opposite effect: Watching Baby Einstein an hour a day was associated with slower acquisition of new words.

Recently, under legal pressure, Walt Disney Co. offered a refund to anyone who bought a Baby Einstein video in the last five years.

Some parents fall for such advertising claims because they desperately want them to be true. They think a kid is like a computer: Just download the software, the earlier the better.

Needing a break

There are millions of other parents who didn’t fall for those Einstein claims. But they desperately wanted a few minutes to take a nap or a shower. They needed to establish a baby-free zone. Baby Einstein allowed those parents to assuage their guilt by telling themselves that their children weren’t just being parked in front of the TV to absorb mind-poisoning reruns of “Alf.”

No, she was being educated. Bah. Yet parents shouldn’t feel guilty about stationing their kids in front of the television for a while so they can carve out a respite from relentless parental chores. No child was ever permanently scarred by “Dora the Explorer” or whatever holds an 18-month-old’s attention for a few blessed minutes. Yes, we know that the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends no television at all for the first two years of crucial development. But that is unrealistic. As mom always said, moderation is the key.

Babies don’t come with instruction manuals. But if they did, here’s what would be etched in on the front: Want a happy child? Hunker down, and play with her. Talk to her. Read to her.

We’re betting that not a lot of those Einstein vids come flying back to the stores. They may not have achieved their stated goal. But they were smart. Where else can you get a good permanent baby sitter for $15.99?