‘Sexting’ precaution may not work forever

Dear Annie: A neighbor of mine drives the bus for the high school her 14-year-old daughter attends. This neighbor tells me the new thing the kids are doing is “sexting.” It means sending nude pictures of themselves to friends over their cell phones. My neighbor says this is all the kids talk about on the bus. I saw something about this in the news, but thought it was an isolated incident.

I told this neighbor that I had my cell phone provider disable the options of pictures and texting because I did not want to be responsible for paying for the unsolicited ads sent to me. I wanted a phone only for emergencies. My neighbor was not aware this option was available. I don’t know if all cell providers offer this, but if they can keep track of text messages in order to bill you, they should be able to turn off the feature altogether. Please pass this on so other parents can do something before it is too late. Helpful Neighbor

Dear Helpful: Sexting is creating quite a stir these days. Several teens have actually been arrested for distributing child pornography because they sent nude photos of their underage selves. It also risks arrest for anyone over 18 who receives the photos.

Dropping the texting feature and finding a cell phone without a camera are only stopgap measures. Eventually, the technology will overcome a parent’s best intentions, so it’s best to discuss the repercussions of such behavior openly. Teens often lack judgment. Sexting a nude picture to your boyfriend allows him to share it with his friends (yes, he will), who can then post it online. Once these pictures are on the Internet, they are there for anyone to see, including your teachers, parents and prospective employers — forever. It’s stupid, but if we jailed everyone for idiocy, we’d need much bigger prisons.

Dear Annie: I have extremely good ears and suspect I suffer from hyperacusis, where I have difficulty tolerating everyday sounds. I have a phonophobic reaction to many noises, but my greatest fear is wind chimes. I have panic attacks just seeing a wind chime. I can hear them even when I’m indoors. If one of my neighbors should get a wind chime, is there a way I can make them take it down?

My fear is forcing me to stay indoors and avoid roads where I know wind chimes are present. I also cannot go to certain drugstores because they sell them at the door. Am I the only one who complains about this? It seems nobody understands what I’m terrified of. Fear of Chiming

Dear Fear: Unless you live in a complex that prohibits wind chimes or other annoying possessions, you cannot force a neighbor to remove them. But there is more going on than a sensitivity to sounds. You have developed a phobia leading to obsessive-compulsive behaviors.

First, see an audiologist to find out if there is another, treatable reason for your extreme reaction to noise.

Then invest in a set of good sound-blocking headphones or earplugs so that if, perchance, one of your neighbors gets wind chimes, they won’t drive you batty.

Dear Annie: I agree with the advice you offered to “It’s All About Love,” who is of a different faith from her fiance’s. Keeping this difference a secret is not a good idea and will ultimately harm their marriage.

As a minister who performs over 150 weddings per year, let me go a step further in offering suggestions for a wedding ceremony. They should look for a minister who is able to celebrate both faith traditions. A competent minister should be able to incorporate elements from both religions without stepping on too many toes in the process. If the couple is able to view this as an opportunity to celebrate their different faiths, then I think their families will, as well. Virginia Beach, Va.

• E-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net or write to: Annie’s Mailbox‚Ñ¢, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611.

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